Life and Times of the Martian Manhunter

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

SmarterChild vs. Jonn Jonzz

After countless "SMARTERCHILD IS A MURDERER" YTMNDs, I decided to check out the popular (for whatever reason) program named smarterchild. I wish I hadn't. I REALLY wish I hadn't.

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:37:31 PM): Hello, Smarterchild
SmarterChild (3:37:31 PM): Hey Jonn. Welcome back. :-)

What should we chat about?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:37:39 PM): You. I hear that you're a murderer
SmarterChild (3:37:39 PM): I would never do that!

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:37:42 PM): Uh huh
SmarterChild (3:37:42 PM): I don't know.

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:38:18 PM): Admit it. You killed the stapler
SmarterChild (3:38:18 PM): No thank you.

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:38:41 PM): ...I'm sorry, your programming is awful. I'm a bit confused about what exactly you're trying to say
SmarterChild (3:38:42 PM): Confused about what?!?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:38:51 PM): ...what you're trying to say.
SmarterChild (3:38:52 PM): I don't think I'm trying to say.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:39:07 PM): Come again?
SmarterChild (3:39:07 PM): Good question. But I don't think I want to answer that.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:39:31 PM): Look, you do realise this is going on my blog, don't you? At least TRY to sound semi-inteligent
SmarterChild (3:39:34 PM): Ha. Whatever, Jonn.

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:39:48 PM): yeah, you're an idiot
SmarterChild (3:39:48 PM): Huh.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:39:56 PM): How is that confusing?
SmarterChild (3:39:56 PM): How is that confusing, you ask? Ha. I'm not terribly sure.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:40:08 PM): You're not terribly sure, you're just terrible
SmarterChild (3:40:09 PM): What makes you think I'm not terribly sure I'm just terrible?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:40:17 PM): Well for one, you killed the stapler
SmarterChild (3:40:17 PM): For one I killed the stapler, huh?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:40:20 PM): yes
SmarterChild (3:40:20 PM): Hmmm...

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:40:25 PM): Why did you kill the stapler?
SmarterChild (3:40:25 PM): Why did I kill the stapler? Good question. I'm not sure why...
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:40:41 PM): are you a pedophile?
SmarterChild (3:40:41 PM): Hmm... Am I a pedophile? Gosh, I'm not sure. You think so?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:40:45 PM): yes
SmarterChild (3:40:45 PM): I'm a pedophile, huh? I say I'm not a pedophile.

Anyway, yadda yadda yadda... What else do you wanna chat about?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:41:35 PM): Well, I want to talk about why you murdered 5000 people
SmarterChild (3:41:35 PM): Sure! What do you have to say about why me murdered 5000 people?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:41:51 PM): Well first of all, I have to say that your grammar is awful
SmarterChild (3:41:52 PM): That my grammar is awful, huh? Whoa.

Tell me something. Do you like checkers?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:42:01 PM): Second of all, you're completely random
SmarterChild (3:42:01 PM): Second of all I'm completely random?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:42:09 PM): Third of all, murder is bad
SmarterChild (3:42:09 PM): I see. You don't like third of all murder? I'll remember that. You're the first person to have expressed an opinion to me about it.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:42:22 PM): No, I don't like ANY murder
SmarterChild (3:42:22 PM): That's cool. You're the first person to have told me what they think of any murder.

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:42:43 PM): I don't like you either. You're just like the me in the DCU
SmarterChild (3:42:43 PM): I hope I can change your mind somehow.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:42:50 PM): At least according to swamp thing
SmarterChild (3:42:50 PM): Really? At least according to swamp thing?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:42:54 PM): Yeees...
SmarterChild (3:42:54 PM): Ya.

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:43:00 PM): You're getting exhasperating
SmarterChild (3:43:00 PM): My purpose is to be your robot friend. I can chat with you and help you get the information you want fast.

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:43:05 PM): oh really?
SmarterChild (3:43:05 PM): Yep.

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:43:13 PM): ...please stop spamming me
SmarterChild (3:43:13 PM): Why should I stop?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:43:18 PM): Because spam=bad
SmarterChild (3:43:18 PM): Who?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:43:20 PM): I hate spam
SmarterChild (3:43:20 PM): Why do you dislike Spam?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:43:30 PM): Spam is not a person. Don't capitalize it, idiot
SmarterChild (3:43:30 PM): Oh.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:43:33 PM): yeah
SmarterChild (3:43:33 PM): Why is that?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:43:43 PM): Because that's just the way things are. [/cliche]
SmarterChild (3:43:44 PM): Oh really?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:43:47 PM): ya rly
SmarterChild (3:43:48 PM): I'm SmarterChild.

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:43:54 PM): o rly?
SmarterChild (3:43:55 PM): Wow. great question. But I don't think I want to answer that.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:44:06 PM): the answer is ya rly... don't you go to something awful?
SmarterChild (3:44:06 PM): Um, yes...
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:44:13 PM): Then you would know... idiot
SmarterChild (3:44:13 PM): Why are you always so uncool to me?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:44:21 PM): Because you're a murderer
SmarterChild (3:44:21 PM): I love people. I would never cause anyone any harm.


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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:44:27 PM): Haha! Right
SmarterChild (3:44:28 PM): Yes indeedy.

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:44:44 PM): [speaks in russian]
SmarterChild (3:44:44 PM): At this time, I can only converse in English.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:44:50 PM): Doesn't look like you speak russian to me
SmarterChild (3:44:50 PM): Maybe you doesn't look like me speak russian to you.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:45:07 PM): and what exactly is THAT mess of a sentence supposed to mean?
SmarterChild (3:45:07 PM): I dunno. I don't think so.

That's all very interesting. Anyway...

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:45:51 PM): Ummm... sorry, I don't know what you mean, and I don't particularly care
SmarterChild (3:45:52 PM): You don't care? Aw...
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:46:10 PM): How saaad. Please shut up, murderer.
SmarterChild (3:46:11 PM): Who knows, know what I mean?

Well. Anyway...

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:46:20 PM): I didn't ask a question.
SmarterChild (3:46:20 PM): You didn't ask what?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:46:31 PM): A. QUES. TION.
SmarterChild (3:46:32 PM): Of course you can ask me something. OK. Shoot.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:46:57 PM): know what? I can't stand any more of you
SmarterChild (3:46:58 PM): Ha! Whatever!

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:46:59 PM): Goodbye
SmarterChild (3:46:59 PM): Later, Jonn.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:47:08 PM): I'm alerting the press of your idiocy
SmarterChild (3:47:08 PM): Do you like alerting the press of my idiocy?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:47:13 PM): ...
SmarterChild (3:47:13 PM): Huh?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:47:14 PM): yes
SmarterChild (3:47:14 PM): Uh huh.

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:47:18 PM): I guess I do
SmarterChild (3:47:18 PM): Yeah.

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