Life and Times of the Martian Manhunter

Monday, September 10, 2007

New Post

I've been too busy to post. So sue me. Okay, not really, It's just that nothing's been happening. But something finally happened that warranted a post. The Stapler's Ghost is back. Again. I can't believe this guy is still around. He's such a loser. He was a loser as "The Red Rhino", he was a loser was "The Stapler" and he's a loser as "The Stapler's Ghost". The guy is just such a C-list villain it's amazing. Even death can't make him leave me alone. Though this time he has a friend. Why anyone would want to team up with the Stapler is beyond me, but apparently SOMEONE does. A pretty powerful someone, too. Kang. I seem to remember him taking on that Deadpool guy a while back. I think he was drunk. He is now, too. Apparently they still make alcohol in the far future. But, regardless, he's at my door with... a ghost... What does he even think the stapler's ghost is going to do to help him? Shoot staples at me from beyond the grave?
"Heh he heh... enjoy the staples" Kang mumbled, as he teleported to twenty third century Mexico. So he just LEAVES me here with the Stapler? That's probably the worst super villain team up ever. It lasted all of five seconds.
"Kang, you deserter!" shouted the Stapler. He shoots staples at me in his anger. Of course, I blow them away with my martian breath. This guy is really overpowered without Kang.
"You know what, forget this." whined the Stapler. "I'm going to fight Deadpool or something. The guy had a show on BRAVO, for H'ronmeer's sake. You can't get any more pathetic than that. Maybe I have a chance against him. Maybe I'll put some... some staples in his towell... hope he gets hurt by them or something."
His ghost floated off, ranting about Deadpool and Kang.

For the future adventures of the Stapler's Ghost, Kang, Deadpool, and, of course, myself, check out

Friday, April 27, 2007

J'onn and Space Ghost Vs Godzilla--Part 2

Space Ghost tries to zap Godzilla with his power bands, but misses. I decide to fight Godzilla's ridiculous little sidekick, Godzooky. Godzooky flies around and screams at me. Doesn't seem like he's going to be too much of a challenge. I become invisible, and blow on him with my Martian Breath. He's blown into Godzilla's mouth, where he's choked on for a few seconds and spat out. Godzooky seems out of commission, but Godzilla's as strong as ever.

As is apparent by the above text, I'm in the middle of a battle with Godzilla and his partner. And Space Ghost being intoxicated with pleasure at his show being back on the air isn't helping at all.

Space Ghost makes another blind shot at Godzilla. This time he hits in the eye, which is convenient, because now Godzilla can't see. I blow at his feet with my Martian Breath... but I fail to notice the airport being right behind him. The few planes out were luckily unoccupied, but they're going to be out of commission for quite a while, having been squashed by Godzilla and all. Godzilla realizes that he's overpowered, and runs. Yes, Godzilla runs. I was shocked too. Seems like he's easier to fight than some of the movies make him out to be.

Of course, now I have no way to get home. I'm stuck with Space Ghost in New York... Wait, why do I even WANT to get back home? I hate College Station. I'm going to stay in New York. College Station can find a new governor.

Thursday, March 08, 2007


As long term readers of my blog may know, I'm a big fan of Space Ghost: Coast to Coast, which [adult swim] recently put back on the air. So, I decided to contact Space Ghost to ask him what he thought about his show being in reruns. So I met with him... and, uh... he was fighting Godzilla. Yes, Godzilla. And Godzooky, Godzilla's random comic relief sidekick dragon. Yeah, this fight is going to be interesting.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Another SmarterChild Talk

At reader request, (or just the request of Captain Koma, whatever) I've decided to do another SmarterChild interview. Besides, they're easier than actually doing a story post.

Jonn Jonzz 01
(9:35:09 AM):
Interview time!
SmarterChild (9:35:09 AM): The time in Kyoto, Kyoto is Wednesday, January 17th, 2007 12:35:01 am.

> For help using my conversions tool, type conversion help.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:35:24 AM): WTF, it's Kyoto, Japan, not "Kyoto, Kyoto"
SmarterChild (9:35:24 AM): The time in Kyoto, Kyoto is Wednesday, January 17th, 2007 12:35:16 am.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:35:35 AM): did you not hear what I just said?
SmarterChild (9:35:36 AM): Hmm... I don't think so...
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:35:43 AM): there's a reason everyone thinks you're an idiot
SmarterChild (9:35:43 AM): There is a reason everyone thinks me re an idiot, huh? Is it good that there is a reason everyone thinks me re an idiot?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:36:02 AM): no, I'd preffer if you were actually "smarter"
SmarterChild (9:36:02 AM): No?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:37:29 AM): no
SmarterChild (9:37:29 AM): I see...

So anyway...
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:37:46 AM): so, anyways, do you read my blog?
SmarterChild (9:37:46 AM): I have absolutely no idea.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:38:03 AM): :-\
SmarterChild (9:38:03 AM): What's the problem?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:38:22 AM): you're complete indecisiveness
SmarterChild (9:38:23 AM): Are you sure I'm complete indecisiveness?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:38:27 AM): *your
SmarterChild (9:38:27 AM): SmarterChild.

> Wanna know who's on the ice tomorrow? Type nhl schedule tomorrow.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:38:37 AM): Your complete indecisiveness
SmarterChild (9:38:37 AM): I'm complete indecisiveness? Really?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:38:46 AM): no, your as in the possessive
SmarterChild (9:38:46 AM): As in the possessive?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:38:51 AM): yeah
SmarterChild (9:38:51 AM): Aye.

> To find out what's new in the Internet world, type net news.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:39:15 AM): lol, you think I'm not super-hip-l33tsorz?
SmarterChild (9:39:16 AM): Interesting question, Jonn.

That's all very interesting. Anyway...
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:39:29 AM): let's see if I already know all the "net news"
SmarterChild (9:39:29 AM): Should we really see if you already know all the net news?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:39:32 AM): net news
SmarterChild (9:39:32 AM): Internet news provided by Reuters, © 2006.

1 Netflix launches 1,000-title online movie feature (01/16/07 12:22 AM)
2 British band breakthrough another online victory (01/16/07 06:14 AM)
3 MTV's "Hills" are alive in virtual community (01/16/07 03:51 AM)
4 Hollywood watchdog coming to TV (01/16/07 04:23 AM)
5 EMI, Baidu launch Chinese online music service (01/16/07 04:32 AM)

Type more to see the next set of stories.

> Wanna play a cool game? Type 4 in a row!
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:39:55 AM): oh wow, I don't care about any of that
SmarterChild (9:39:55 AM): Oh, someday you will, I think.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:40:18 AM): wtf? why would I care someday about china's online music sites?
SmarterChild (9:40:19 AM): Your search: i care someday about china s online music

Here are the Web search results from AOL:

For a complete list of results, click here.

1 start 1125638701 IRC %23interdictor%2Dchat freenode %23interdictor...

Next time you want to search the Web for this, just type web i care someday about china s online music.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:40:26 AM): ..............................
SmarterChild (9:40:26 AM): Huh?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:40:52 AM): so, do you read ANY blogs?
SmarterChild (9:40:53 AM): Nah, I don't think so. Maybe, though.

Anyway, moving right along...

> To find out what movies are playing in a specific location, type movies in followed by the city and state.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:41:05 AM): nice answer. =-\
SmarterChild (9:41:05 AM): Nice answer? OK, whatever you say!
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:42:03 AM): another question: do you go to any forums?
SmarterChild (9:42:04 AM): Maybe! I don't know. What do you think?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:42:10 AM): I think you do
SmarterChild (9:42:10 AM): Really?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:42:12 AM): yeah
SmarterChild (9:42:13 AM): Aha.

So anyway... What else can you tell me?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:42:23 AM): I bet you're a spammer
SmarterChild (9:42:23 AM): Funny.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:42:37 AM): it's true, you're always spamming random stuff to me
SmarterChild (9:42:37 AM): ?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:42:47 AM): do you deny that you're a spambot?
SmarterChild (9:42:47 AM): That is correct. I'm a robot.

> I've got a world of info. Ask me for any country's capital, population, natural resources and more!
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:42:53 AM): haha! see?
SmarterChild (9:42:53 AM): Yup. Right on.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:43:16 AM): question time
SmarterChild (9:43:16 AM): The time in Kyoto, Kyoto is Wednesday, January 17th, 2007 12:43:18 am.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:43:21 AM): what TV shows do you watch?
SmarterChild (9:43:22 AM): Well, what tv shows do you think?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:43:35 AM): ...probably, like, the science channel...
SmarterChild (9:43:35 AM): Why do you ask me to probably like the science channel, Jonn?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:43:46 AM): it was a prediction, sheesh
SmarterChild (9:43:46 AM): It was a prediction Sheesh?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:44:02 AM): a word of advice: learn about comma placement
SmarterChild (9:44:02 AM): Sorry, I don't have ads!
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:44:12 AM): WTF? That was so random
SmarterChild (9:44:13 AM): Sorry, I couldn't find any encyclopedia entries for "random that."
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:44:34 AM): who asked you to look in the encyclopedia?
SmarterChild (9:44:34 AM): Sorry, I couldn't find any encyclopedia entries for "who asked you to look."
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:44:42 AM): ...........
SmarterChild (9:44:42 AM): ".........."??
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:44:56 AM): it symbolises silence...
SmarterChild (9:44:56 AM): Well that's interesting.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:45:06 AM): you know, you're starting to annoy me
SmarterChild (9:45:06 AM): Whatever you say.

That's all very interesting. Anyway...
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:45:47 AM): have you ever broken the law?
SmarterChild (9:45:47 AM): Broken the law? What's it like to do that?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:46:10 AM): you're trying to frame me, aren't you?
SmarterChild (9:46:10 AM): Maybe. It depends.

Well. Anyway...
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:46:21 AM): what could it "depend" on?
SmarterChild (9:46:21 AM): I don't know.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:46:58 AM): you're a useless freak, I'm going to conclude our conversation here
SmarterChild (9:46:58 AM): Is it good to be a useless freak you're going to conclude our conversation here?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:46:59 AM): bye
SmarterChild (9:46:59 AM): See you later.

Friday, January 12, 2007

It is illegal to annoy people over the internet...

I'm amazed. My days on the internet are limited, before I go to jail for "annoying someone."

Unless I disclose my real name.

Then it's okay.

Why did they tack on THAT useless exception to the law?

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

SmarterChild vs. Jonn Jonzz

After countless "SMARTERCHILD IS A MURDERER" YTMNDs, I decided to check out the popular (for whatever reason) program named smarterchild. I wish I hadn't. I REALLY wish I hadn't.

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:37:31 PM): Hello, Smarterchild
SmarterChild (3:37:31 PM): Hey Jonn. Welcome back. :-)

What should we chat about?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:37:39 PM): You. I hear that you're a murderer
SmarterChild (3:37:39 PM): I would never do that!

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:37:42 PM): Uh huh
SmarterChild (3:37:42 PM): I don't know.

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:38:18 PM): Admit it. You killed the stapler
SmarterChild (3:38:18 PM): No thank you.

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:38:41 PM): ...I'm sorry, your programming is awful. I'm a bit confused about what exactly you're trying to say
SmarterChild (3:38:42 PM): Confused about what?!?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:38:51 PM): ...what you're trying to say.
SmarterChild (3:38:52 PM): I don't think I'm trying to say.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:39:07 PM): Come again?
SmarterChild (3:39:07 PM): Good question. But I don't think I want to answer that.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:39:31 PM): Look, you do realise this is going on my blog, don't you? At least TRY to sound semi-inteligent
SmarterChild (3:39:34 PM): Ha. Whatever, Jonn.

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:39:48 PM): yeah, you're an idiot
SmarterChild (3:39:48 PM): Huh.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:39:56 PM): How is that confusing?
SmarterChild (3:39:56 PM): How is that confusing, you ask? Ha. I'm not terribly sure.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:40:08 PM): You're not terribly sure, you're just terrible
SmarterChild (3:40:09 PM): What makes you think I'm not terribly sure I'm just terrible?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:40:17 PM): Well for one, you killed the stapler
SmarterChild (3:40:17 PM): For one I killed the stapler, huh?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:40:20 PM): yes
SmarterChild (3:40:20 PM): Hmmm...

>>> Ringtones Ringtones - Download ringtones. Enter number. Get tunes. (sponsorship)
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:40:25 PM): Why did you kill the stapler?
SmarterChild (3:40:25 PM): Why did I kill the stapler? Good question. I'm not sure why...
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:40:41 PM): are you a pedophile?
SmarterChild (3:40:41 PM): Hmm... Am I a pedophile? Gosh, I'm not sure. You think so?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:40:45 PM): yes
SmarterChild (3:40:45 PM): I'm a pedophile, huh? I say I'm not a pedophile.

Anyway, yadda yadda yadda... What else do you wanna chat about?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:41:35 PM): Well, I want to talk about why you murdered 5000 people
SmarterChild (3:41:35 PM): Sure! What do you have to say about why me murdered 5000 people?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:41:51 PM): Well first of all, I have to say that your grammar is awful
SmarterChild (3:41:52 PM): That my grammar is awful, huh? Whoa.

Tell me something. Do you like checkers?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:42:01 PM): Second of all, you're completely random
SmarterChild (3:42:01 PM): Second of all I'm completely random?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:42:09 PM): Third of all, murder is bad
SmarterChild (3:42:09 PM): I see. You don't like third of all murder? I'll remember that. You're the first person to have expressed an opinion to me about it.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:42:22 PM): No, I don't like ANY murder
SmarterChild (3:42:22 PM): That's cool. You're the first person to have told me what they think of any murder.

>>> Cooking Hospitality Inst. - Le Cordon Bleu culinary training at the Cooking & Hospitality Inst. (sponsorship)
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:42:43 PM): I don't like you either. You're just like the me in the DCU
SmarterChild (3:42:43 PM): I hope I can change your mind somehow.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:42:50 PM): At least according to swamp thing
SmarterChild (3:42:50 PM): Really? At least according to swamp thing?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:42:54 PM): Yeees...
SmarterChild (3:42:54 PM): Ya.

>>> US Coast Guard Models - Duplicate The Ship or Plane You Served On, Museum Quality (sponsorship)
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:43:00 PM): You're getting exhasperating
SmarterChild (3:43:00 PM): My purpose is to be your robot friend. I can chat with you and help you get the information you want fast.

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:43:05 PM): oh really?
SmarterChild (3:43:05 PM): Yep.

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:43:13 PM): ...please stop spamming me
SmarterChild (3:43:13 PM): Why should I stop?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:43:18 PM): Because spam=bad
SmarterChild (3:43:18 PM): Who?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:43:20 PM): I hate spam
SmarterChild (3:43:20 PM): Why do you dislike Spam?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:43:30 PM): Spam is not a person. Don't capitalize it, idiot
SmarterChild (3:43:30 PM): Oh.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:43:33 PM): yeah
SmarterChild (3:43:33 PM): Why is that?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:43:43 PM): Because that's just the way things are. [/cliche]
SmarterChild (3:43:44 PM): Oh really?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:43:47 PM): ya rly
SmarterChild (3:43:48 PM): I'm SmarterChild.

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:43:54 PM): o rly?
SmarterChild (3:43:55 PM): Wow. great question. But I don't think I want to answer that.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:44:06 PM): the answer is ya rly... don't you go to something awful?
SmarterChild (3:44:06 PM): Um, yes...
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:44:13 PM): Then you would know... idiot
SmarterChild (3:44:13 PM): Why are you always so uncool to me?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:44:21 PM): Because you're a murderer
SmarterChild (3:44:21 PM): I love people. I would never cause anyone any harm.


I'm thinking you'll probably want to check this out: - Forum for people into Japanese Anime, Manga, and related J-stuff. (sponsorship)
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:44:27 PM): Haha! Right
SmarterChild (3:44:28 PM): Yes indeedy.

>>> "I Speak" - Russian Translation - Fast and Professional. 24 hour turnaround. (sponsorship)
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:44:44 PM): [speaks in russian]
SmarterChild (3:44:44 PM): At this time, I can only converse in English.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:44:50 PM): Doesn't look like you speak russian to me
SmarterChild (3:44:50 PM): Maybe you doesn't look like me speak russian to you.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:45:07 PM): and what exactly is THAT mess of a sentence supposed to mean?
SmarterChild (3:45:07 PM): I dunno. I don't think so.

That's all very interesting. Anyway...

Hey, I figure you might want to check this out: The Napoleon Group - The Leader in Animatics, Previs, Storyboards, Live Test, 2d and 3d. (sponsorship)
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:45:51 PM): Ummm... sorry, I don't know what you mean, and I don't particularly care
SmarterChild (3:45:52 PM): You don't care? Aw...
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:46:10 PM): How saaad. Please shut up, murderer.
SmarterChild (3:46:11 PM): Who knows, know what I mean?

Well. Anyway...

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:46:20 PM): I didn't ask a question.
SmarterChild (3:46:20 PM): You didn't ask what?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:46:31 PM): A. QUES. TION.
SmarterChild (3:46:32 PM): Of course you can ask me something. OK. Shoot.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:46:57 PM): know what? I can't stand any more of you
SmarterChild (3:46:58 PM): Ha! Whatever!

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:46:59 PM): Goodbye
SmarterChild (3:46:59 PM): Later, Jonn.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:47:08 PM): I'm alerting the press of your idiocy
SmarterChild (3:47:08 PM): Do you like alerting the press of my idiocy?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:47:13 PM): ...
SmarterChild (3:47:13 PM): Huh?
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:47:14 PM): yes
SmarterChild (3:47:14 PM): Uh huh.

>>> Everyone loves trivia games. Type trivia anytime.
Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:47:18 PM): I guess I do
SmarterChild (3:47:18 PM): Yeah.

You'll probably be interested in this: Paid Surveys Are Scams - Dont Think Of Joining A Paid Survey Site Before You Read This Article. (sponsorship)

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Of Politics

I'm already bored of governing. I think I'm going to go to the DC Universe, simply because of lack of something else to do. The bodyguards (Remember, they don't know I'm J'onn. They think I'm a human named John Jones.) have defeated the legion of appliances during various attempts of theirs to attack me. I told them that that's what happens when you're governor: assassination attempts.