Life and Times of the Martian Manhunter

New Post

2007-09-10T18:07:00.000-07:00

I've been too busy to post. So sue me. Okay, not really, It's just that nothing's been happening. But something finally happened that warranted a post. The Stapler's Ghost is back. Again. I can't believe this guy is still around. He's such a loser. He was a loser as "The Red Rhino", he was a loser was "The Stapler" and he's a loser as "The Stapler's Ghost". The guy is just such a C-list villain it's amazing. Even death can't make him leave me alone. Though this time he has a friend. Why anyone would want to team up with the Stapler is beyond me, but apparently SOMEONE does. A pretty powerful someone, too. Kang. I seem to remember him taking on that Deadpool guy a while back. I think he was drunk. He is now, too. Apparently they still make alcohol in the far future. But, regardless, he's at my door with... a ghost... What does he even think the stapler's ghost is going to do to help him? Shoot staples at me from beyond the grave?
"Heh he heh... enjoy the staples" Kang mumbled, as he teleported to twenty third century Mexico. So he just LEAVES me here with the Stapler? That's probably the worst super villain team up ever. It lasted all of five seconds.
"Kang, you deserter!" shouted the Stapler. He shoots staples at me in his anger. Of course, I blow them away with my martian breath. This guy is really overpowered without Kang.
"You know what, forget this." whined the Stapler. "I'm going to fight Deadpool or something. The guy had a show on BRAVO, for H'ronmeer's sake. You can't get any more pathetic than that. Maybe I have a chance against him. Maybe I'll put some... some staples in his towell... hope he gets hurt by them or something."
His ghost floated off, ranting about Deadpool and Kang.

For the future adventures of the Stapler's Ghost, Kang, Deadpool, and, of course, myself, check out http://deadpoolandjonn.blogspot.com

J'onn and Space Ghost Vs Godzilla--Part 2

2007-04-27T18:32:00.000-07:00

Space Ghost tries to zap Godzilla with his power bands, but misses. I decide to fight Godzilla's ridiculous little sidekick, Godzooky. Godzooky flies around and screams at me. Doesn't seem like he's going to be too much of a challenge. I become invisible, and blow on him with my Martian Breath. He's blown into Godzilla's mouth, where he's choked on for a few seconds and spat out. Godzooky seems out of commission, but Godzilla's as strong as ever.

As is apparent by the above text, I'm in the middle of a battle with Godzilla and his partner. And Space Ghost being intoxicated with pleasure at his show being back on the air isn't helping at all.

Space Ghost makes another blind shot at Godzilla. This time he hits in the eye, which is convenient, because now Godzilla can't see. I blow at his feet with my Martian Breath... but I fail to notice the airport being right behind him. The few planes out were luckily unoccupied, but they're going to be out of commission for quite a while, having been squashed by Godzilla and all. Godzilla realizes that he's overpowered, and runs. Yes, Godzilla runs. I was shocked too. Seems like he's easier to fight than some of the movies make him out to be.

Of course, now I have no way to get home. I'm stuck with Space Ghost in New York... Wait, why do I even WANT to get back home? I hate College Station. I'm going to stay in New York. College Station can find a new governor.

Update!

2007-03-08T04:53:00.000-08:00

As long term readers of my blog may know, I'm a big fan of Space Ghost: Coast to Coast, which [adult swim] recently put back on the air. So, I decided to contact Space Ghost to ask him what he thought about his show being in reruns. So I met with him... and, uh... he was fighting Godzilla. Yes, Godzilla. And Godzooky, Godzilla's random comic relief sidekick dragon. Yeah, this fight is going to be interesting.

Another SmarterChild Talk

2007-01-16T07:48:00.000-08:00

At reader request, (or just the request of Captain Koma, whatever) I've decided to do another SmarterChild interview. Besides, they're easier than actually doing a story post.

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:35:09 AM): Interview time!

SmarterChild (9:35:09 AM): The time in Kyoto, Kyoto is Wednesday, January 17th, 2007 12:35:01 am.

> For help using my conversions tool, type conversion help.

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:35:24 AM): WTF, it's Kyoto, Japan, not "Kyoto, Kyoto"

SmarterChild (9:35:24 AM): The time in Kyoto, Kyoto is Wednesday, January 17th, 2007 12:35:16 am.

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:35:35 AM): did you not hear what I just said?

SmarterChild (9:35:36 AM): Hmm... I don't think so...

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:35:43 AM): there's a reason everyone thinks you're an idiot

SmarterChild (9:35:43 AM): There is a reason everyone thinks me re an idiot, huh? Is it good that there is a reason everyone thinks me re an idiot?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:36:02 AM): no, I'd preffer if you were actually "smarter"

SmarterChild (9:36:02 AM): No?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:37:29 AM): no

SmarterChild (9:37:29 AM): I see...

So anyway...

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:37:46 AM): so, anyways, do you read my blog?

SmarterChild (9:37:46 AM): I have absolutely no idea.

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:38:03 AM):

SmarterChild (9:38:03 AM): What's the problem?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:38:22 AM): you're complete indecisiveness

SmarterChild (9:38:23 AM): Are you sure I'm complete indecisiveness?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:38:27 AM): *your

SmarterChild (9:38:27 AM): SmarterChild.

> Wanna know who's on the ice tomorrow? Type nhl schedule tomorrow.

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:38:37 AM): Your complete indecisiveness

SmarterChild (9:38:37 AM): I'm complete indecisiveness? Really?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:38:46 AM): no, your as in the possessive

SmarterChild (9:38:46 AM): As in the possessive?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:38:51 AM): yeah

SmarterChild (9:38:51 AM): Aye.

> To find out what's new in the Internet world, type net news.

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:39:15 AM): lol, you think I'm not super-hip-l33tsorz?

SmarterChild (9:39:16 AM): Interesting question, Jonn.

That's all very interesting. Anyway...

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:39:29 AM): let's see if I already know all the "net news"

SmarterChild (9:39:29 AM): Should we really see if you already know all the net news?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:39:32 AM): net news

SmarterChild (9:39:32 AM): Internet news provided by Reuters, © 2006.

1 Netflix launches 1,000-title online movie feature (01/16/07 12:22 AM)
2 British band breakthrough another online victory (01/16/07 06:14 AM)
3 MTV's "Hills" are alive in virtual community (01/16/07 03:51 AM)
4 Hollywood watchdog TMZ.com coming to TV (01/16/07 04:23 AM)
5 EMI, Baidu launch Chinese online music service (01/16/07 04:32 AM)

Type more to see the next set of stories.

> Wanna play a cool game? Type 4 in a row!

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:39:55 AM): oh wow, I don't care about any of that

SmarterChild (9:39:55 AM): Oh, someday you will, I think.

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:40:18 AM): wtf? why would I care someday about china's online music sites?

SmarterChild (9:40:19 AM): Your search: i care someday about china s online music

Here are the Web search results from AOL:

For a complete list of results, click here.

1 start 1125638701 IRC %23interdictor%2Dchat freenode %23interdictor...

Next time you want to search the Web for this, just type web i care someday about china s online music.

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:40:26 AM): ..............................

SmarterChild (9:40:26 AM): Huh?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:40:52 AM): so, do you read ANY blogs?

SmarterChild (9:40:53 AM): Nah, I don't think so. Maybe, though.

Anyway, moving right along...

> To find out what movies are playing in a specific location, type movies in followed by the city and state.

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:41:05 AM): nice answer. =-\

SmarterChild (9:41:05 AM): Nice answer? OK, whatever you say!

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:42:03 AM): another question: do you go to any forums?

SmarterChild (9:42:04 AM): Maybe! I don't know. What do you think?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:42:10 AM): I think you do

SmarterChild (9:42:10 AM): Really?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:42:12 AM): yeah

SmarterChild (9:42:13 AM): Aha.

So anyway... What else can you tell me?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:42:23 AM): I bet you're a spammer

SmarterChild (9:42:23 AM): Funny.

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:42:37 AM): it's true, you're always spamming random stuff to me

SmarterChild (9:42:37 AM): ?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:42:47 AM): do you deny that you're a spambot?

SmarterChild (9:42:47 AM): That is correct. I'm a robot.

> I've got a world of info. Ask me for any country's capital, population, natural resources and more!

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:42:53 AM): haha! see?

SmarterChild (9:42:53 AM): Yup. Right on.

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:43:16 AM): question time

SmarterChild (9:43:16 AM): The time in Kyoto, Kyoto is Wednesday, January 17th, 2007 12:43:18 am.

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:43:21 AM): what TV shows do you watch?

SmarterChild (9:43:22 AM): Well, what tv shows do you think?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:43:35 AM): ...probably, like, the science channel...

SmarterChild (9:43:35 AM): Why do you ask me to probably like the science channel, Jonn?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:43:46 AM): it was a prediction, sheesh

SmarterChild (9:43:46 AM): It was a prediction Sheesh?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:44:02 AM): a word of advice: learn about comma placement

SmarterChild (9:44:02 AM): Sorry, I don't have ads!

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:44:12 AM): WTF? That was so random

SmarterChild (9:44:13 AM): Sorry, I couldn't find any encyclopedia entries for "random that."

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:44:34 AM): who asked you to look in the encyclopedia?

SmarterChild (9:44:34 AM): Sorry, I couldn't find any encyclopedia entries for "who asked you to look."

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:44:42 AM): ...........

SmarterChild (9:44:42 AM): ".........."??

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:44:56 AM): it symbolises silence...

SmarterChild (9:44:56 AM): Well that's interesting.

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:45:06 AM): you know, you're starting to annoy me

SmarterChild (9:45:06 AM): Whatever you say.

That's all very interesting. Anyway...

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:45:47 AM): have you ever broken the law?

SmarterChild (9:45:47 AM): Broken the law? What's it like to do that?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:46:10 AM): you're trying to frame me, aren't you?

SmarterChild (9:46:10 AM): Maybe. It depends.

Well. Anyway...

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:46:21 AM): what could it "depend" on?

SmarterChild (9:46:21 AM): I don't know.

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:46:58 AM): you're a useless freak, I'm going to conclude our conversation here

SmarterChild (9:46:58 AM): Is it good to be a useless freak you're going to conclude our conversation here?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (9:46:59 AM): bye

SmarterChild (9:46:59 AM): See you later.

It is illegal to annoy people over the internet...

2007-01-12T20:42:00.001-08:00

I'm amazed. My days on the internet are limited, before I go to jail for "annoying someone."

Unless I disclose my real name.

Then it's okay.

Why did they tack on THAT useless exception to the law?

SmarterChild vs. Jonn Jonzz

2006-12-20T13:35:00.000-08:00

After countless "SMARTERCHILD IS A MURDERER" YTMNDs, I decided to check out the popular (for whatever reason) program named smarterchild. I wish I hadn't. I REALLY wish I hadn't.

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:37:31 PM): Hello, Smarterchild

SmarterChild (3:37:31 PM): Hey Jonn. Welcome back.

What should we chat about?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:37:39 PM): You. I hear that you're a murderer

SmarterChild (3:37:39 PM): I would never do that!

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:37:42 PM): Uh huh

SmarterChild (3:37:42 PM): I don't know.

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:38:18 PM): Admit it. You killed the stapler

SmarterChild (3:38:18 PM): No thank you.

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:38:41 PM): ...I'm sorry, your programming is awful. I'm a bit confused about what exactly you're trying to say

SmarterChild (3:38:42 PM): Confused about what?!?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:38:51 PM): ...what you're trying to say.

SmarterChild (3:38:52 PM): I don't think I'm trying to say.

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:39:07 PM): Come again?

SmarterChild (3:39:07 PM): Good question. But I don't think I want to answer that.

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:39:31 PM): Look, you do realise this is going on my blog, don't you? At least TRY to sound semi-inteligent

SmarterChild (3:39:34 PM): Ha. Whatever, Jonn.

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:39:48 PM): yeah, you're an idiot

SmarterChild (3:39:48 PM): Huh.

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:39:56 PM): How is that confusing?

SmarterChild (3:39:56 PM): How is that confusing, you ask? Ha. I'm not terribly sure.

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:40:08 PM): You're not terribly sure, you're just terrible

SmarterChild (3:40:09 PM): What makes you think I'm not terribly sure I'm just terrible?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:40:17 PM): Well for one, you killed the stapler

SmarterChild (3:40:17 PM): For one I killed the stapler, huh?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:40:20 PM): yes

SmarterChild (3:40:20 PM): Hmmm...

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:40:25 PM): Why did you kill the stapler?

SmarterChild (3:40:25 PM): Why did I kill the stapler? Good question. I'm not sure why...

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:40:41 PM): are you a pedophile?

SmarterChild (3:40:41 PM): Hmm... Am I a pedophile? Gosh, I'm not sure. You think so?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:40:45 PM): yes

SmarterChild (3:40:45 PM): I'm a pedophile, huh? I say I'm not a pedophile.

Anyway, yadda yadda yadda... What else do you wanna chat about?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:41:35 PM): Well, I want to talk about why you murdered 5000 people

SmarterChild (3:41:35 PM): Sure! What do you have to say about why me murdered 5000 people?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:41:51 PM): Well first of all, I have to say that your grammar is awful

SmarterChild (3:41:52 PM): That my grammar is awful, huh? Whoa.

Tell me something. Do you like checkers?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:42:01 PM): Second of all, you're completely random

SmarterChild (3:42:01 PM): Second of all I'm completely random?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:42:09 PM): Third of all, murder is bad

SmarterChild (3:42:09 PM): I see. You don't like third of all murder? I'll remember that. You're the first person to have expressed an opinion to me about it.

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:42:22 PM): No, I don't like ANY murder

SmarterChild (3:42:22 PM): That's cool. You're the first person to have told me what they think of any murder.

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:42:43 PM): I don't like you either. You're just like the me in the DCU

SmarterChild (3:42:43 PM): I hope I can change your mind somehow.

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:42:50 PM): At least according to swamp thing

SmarterChild (3:42:50 PM): Really? At least according to swamp thing?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:42:54 PM): Yeees...

SmarterChild (3:42:54 PM): Ya.

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:43:00 PM): You're getting exhasperating

SmarterChild (3:43:00 PM): My purpose is to be your robot friend. I can chat with you and help you get the information you want fast.

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:43:05 PM): oh really?

SmarterChild (3:43:05 PM): Yep.

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:43:13 PM): ...please stop spamming me

SmarterChild (3:43:13 PM): Why should I stop?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:43:18 PM): Because spam=bad

SmarterChild (3:43:18 PM): Who?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:43:20 PM): I hate spam

SmarterChild (3:43:20 PM): Why do you dislike Spam?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:43:30 PM): Spam is not a person. Don't capitalize it, idiot

SmarterChild (3:43:30 PM): Oh.

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:43:33 PM): yeah

SmarterChild (3:43:33 PM): Why is that?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:43:43 PM): Because that's just the way things are. [/cliche]

SmarterChild (3:43:44 PM): Oh really?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:43:47 PM): ya rly

SmarterChild (3:43:48 PM): I'm SmarterChild.

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:43:54 PM): o rly?

SmarterChild (3:43:55 PM): Wow. great question. But I don't think I want to answer that.

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:44:06 PM): the answer is ya rly... don't you go to something awful?

SmarterChild (3:44:06 PM): Um, yes...

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:44:13 PM): Then you would know... idiot

SmarterChild (3:44:13 PM): Why are you always so uncool to me?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:44:21 PM): Because you're a murderer

SmarterChild (3:44:21 PM): I love people. I would never cause anyone any harm.

Anyway...

I'm thinking you'll probably want to check this out: JapanForum.com - Forum for people into Japanese Anime, Manga, and related J-stuff. (sponsorship)

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:44:27 PM): Haha! Right

SmarterChild (3:44:28 PM): Yes indeedy.

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:44:44 PM): [speaks in russian]

SmarterChild (3:44:44 PM): At this time, I can only converse in English.

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:44:50 PM): Doesn't look like you speak russian to me

SmarterChild (3:44:50 PM): Maybe you doesn't look like me speak russian to you.

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:45:07 PM): and what exactly is THAT mess of a sentence supposed to mean?

SmarterChild (3:45:07 PM): I dunno. I don't think so.

That's all very interesting. Anyway...

Hey, I figure you might want to check this out: The Napoleon Group - The Leader in Animatics, Previs, Storyboards, Live Test, 2d and 3d. (sponsorship)

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:45:51 PM): Ummm... sorry, I don't know what you mean, and I don't particularly care

SmarterChild (3:45:52 PM): You don't care? Aw...

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:46:10 PM): How saaad. Please shut up, murderer.

SmarterChild (3:46:11 PM): Who knows, know what I mean?

Well. Anyway...

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:46:20 PM): I didn't ask a question.

SmarterChild (3:46:20 PM): You didn't ask what?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:46:31 PM): A. QUES. TION.

SmarterChild (3:46:32 PM): Of course you can ask me something. OK. Shoot.

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:46:57 PM): ...you know what? I can't stand any more of you

SmarterChild (3:46:58 PM): Ha! Whatever!

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Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:46:59 PM): Goodbye

SmarterChild (3:46:59 PM): Later, Jonn.

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:47:08 PM): I'm alerting the press of your idiocy

SmarterChild (3:47:08 PM): Do you like alerting the press of my idiocy?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:47:13 PM): ...

SmarterChild (3:47:13 PM): Huh?

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:47:14 PM): yes

SmarterChild (3:47:14 PM): Uh huh.

>>> Everyone loves trivia games. Type trivia anytime.

Jonn Jonzz 01 (3:47:18 PM): I guess I do

SmarterChild (3:47:18 PM): Yeah.

You'll probably be interested in this: Paid Surveys Are Scams - Dont Think Of Joining A Paid Survey Site Before You Read This Article. (sponsorship)

Of Politics

2006-11-29T15:18:00.000-08:00

I'm already bored of governing. I think I'm going to go to the DC Universe, simply because of lack of something else to do. The bodyguards (Remember, they don't know I'm J'onn. They think I'm a human named John Jones.) have defeated the legion of appliances during various attempts of theirs to attack me. I told them that that's what happens when you're governor: assassination attempts.

Of Other Realities and Election Results

2006-11-19T18:34:00.000-08:00

Well, I won the election easily. Telepathy really comes in handy when you're trying to get people to vote for you... And besides, the revelation I made during one of my speeches about my opponent being an ex-super villain didn't exactly help his popularity levels.

In other news, apparently a person named Waverider has been killed. He lives in the dimension I took a jaunt to the other month. This Skeets character is really starting to become a problem; it was okay when he sent me back to this dimension, because I actually WANTED that, but he's really messing up that reality. I think I might need to get the Monitors to send me back there to set him straight.

Of Calculators and Elections.

2006-11-05T06:12:00.000-08:00

So, since the Calculator is hunting me, I've decided to run for governor of College Station. I figured I would have bodyguards to protect me from the Calculator. Sad that a superhero would have to depend on the government, but hey, it's better than being stalked by a man in a calculator outfit. Plus, H'ronmeer knows this place could use a person with a brain in a position of authority.

So, morphing myself into a human named John Jones, I decided to run for governor. The opposing party's candidate surprised me. I decided to read Harold Handcock's mind to see his election strategies, but what I found was much more surprising. He was actually the Red Rhino! (The one from this Earth, not the 70 year old one from the DC Earth who renamed himself the Stapler.) Just when you try to escape a supervillain, you meet another. Great. Just great.

I'm scared!

2006-10-27T17:43:00.000-07:00

I beat Paste Pot Pete easily. Sucked up his gluegun and problem solved. Kite Man was pretty easy too. I mean really, how scary is a hang-glider? But... the calculator... He's my next opponent in all these stalkers attacking me. How am I going to beat someone who can multiply any math problem, calculate what 19 to the 14th power is? Someone who can calculate what I'm going to do next? He probably knows what I'm going to do before I do. Calculators are such scary creatures.

Calender Man

2006-10-17T17:53:00.000-07:00

When I opened the mailbox, I found a calender. I looked through it. It looked ordinary enough, until I saw a date circled, next Wednesday, with a note written inside it. "THIS DAY YOU DIE!" This could only be the work of The Calender Man.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The following Wednesday, as I left the house, I felt a slice across the back of my neck. Apparently the Calender Man was hidden in my front yard, tossing pages of a calender at me. Does he seriously think I'm going to die from a paper cut?
Using my Martian vision, (really! I have Martian vision!) I found Calender Man rather quickly. Becaming intangible, I went back into my house and grabbed the giant calender Batman gave me from his last battle with Calender Man. I hear the Trophy Room in the Batcave is running out of room. Carrying the invisibly coated calender to the yard, I rolled it up, and swung at the Calender Man, knocking him out. The lengths I go to for comic book irony.

Shocking!

2006-10-08T10:40:00.000-07:00

Well, it turns out there are two Red Rhinos! The one from the other dimension who is 70 or so years old due to having to wait another 30 years to get back to my time, and the Red Rhino that was naturally here. The two have forged an allience. I'm pretty sure the 70 year old one is senile. Why else would he call himself "The Stapler?"

So, I arrived at the pier. The Stapler said that he would return Ace on the condition that I would swear an oath to fight "The Legion of Appliences." I agreed, naturally. But isn't eight on one a little unfair? I think I might need some allies.

Re: My Name

2006-10-08T10:34:00.000-07:00

I have heard several negative comments on how lame my new name is.

You're all fools!

Wait 'til I staple your mouthes shut!

Then your eyes!

Like the foolish humans who torture animals do to said animals!

I'm coming for them next.

Right after I come for you, people who dislike my name.

A Kidnapping!

2006-10-06T06:13:00.000-07:00

When I arrive home, I see a note on the door.

J'onn,

I have your dog. Meet me at the pier in thirty minutes.

Signed,

The Red Rhino/The Stapler.

First of all, how would he kidnap Ace? Secondly, why would he change his name to the Stapler? Whatever. I'll just have to meet with him. I'll tell you how it went later.

MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

2006-10-02T18:43:00.000-07:00

I may be old and frail after waiting thirty years, but I have returned to 2006, to destroy the accursed J'onn J'onzz! I have renamed myself "THE STAPLER" and have teamed up with my fellow object themed characters. The roster of the legion of objects is as follows:
Paste Pot Pete!
Kite Man!
Calander Man!
The Calculator!
The Erasor!
Crazy Quilt!
And newly converted to the villainous side, Leather Boy!
Don't these menacing sounding villains make you shiver in terror? Cower! Cower before our applience themed might, I say! COWER!!!

Exploring the DCU: Finale.

2006-09-29T05:58:00.000-07:00

As I landed in the world of what looked to be 1975, I heard a voice. A mocking metalic voice.
"You know my true intentions, Red Rhino, and thus, have been eliminated from the timestream and propelled to an alternate reality." Apparently the Red Rhino has stumbled upon some sort of even more evil being. Pity I'm not in the other reality to deal justice to him.
"We're back in the time I love, when people didn't use incomprehensible slang like 'pawn'd'!" Rants the Rhino.
"Uh... that would be pwn'd." I correct.
"But that doesn't make sence; it doesn't have a vowel."
"Internet slang doesn't follow the rules of grammar."
"See! The internet has taken over our--"
"ENOUGH! We're not in 2006 any more; we're in 1976. There's no abundant internet here, so quit whining!" I shout.
Our bickerring was interrupted by another mental message, this time from the Monitors.
"J'onn, the evil being known as Skeets has sent you back to the Heroes United Earth. We can arrange for you to be sent forward in time if you would like that."
"I would." I replied. I was sent forward in time, back to where I was before this mess started. Back to HU Earth, 2006, and free of that pesky Red Rhino. I was finally home.*

*Yay for cheesy endings!

The Man (?) Inside the Mask! That's Henchman?!?

2006-09-24T11:27:00.000-07:00

Ace Chapter 12:

I woke up. Time to track down that AIM agent. I stepped out of my quarters, and followed the tracer until I saw the AIM character. He seemed to have gained weight. I poked him with my nose. He turned around.
"Hola, mi nombre es Eduardo. Y tu?" said the AIM character.
"Umm... I don't think you're who I'm looking for."
"Oh, wait. I not Eduardo. I am vicious AIM agent. Si." says Eduardo.
Who is this oaf? I wondered. First he says he's Eduardo, now he says he's an AIM agent. Whoever he is, he's not the one I saw yesterday.
"I was trailing a criminal with a costume similar to yours, and I was wondering how your costume ended up with a tracer on it."
"Oh, I was going to costume party with all mi imaginary friends, but I end up here. But this place good too. It has potatoes. I like potatoes." rants the purple creature avoiding the question entirely.
"And how did you get this tracer?" I ask impatiently.
"Mi amarillo amigo, Sr. Henchman must have gotten his clothes mixed up with mine in the laundromat." he says with a heavy Mexican accent.
I wonder if I should report this character to the hostess. Nah, he seems harmless enough. Unlike that Mike fellow. I am SO a dog.
I am interrupted from my thoughts by Batman.
"Ace, there's a case in Gotham. You can deal with your purple monster later."

Ace Arrives at Sky City! The Suspicious Man in the Yellow Suit!

2006-09-17T18:51:00.000-07:00

Ace Chapter 11:

Well, the JLA did absolutely nothing against those evil creatures that were ruining the town. The monsters were already distroyed, and the team is now disbanded for a new team. A better team, I'm sure.

So, I got an invitation from Noel to a party on Sky City. When I arrived, I was rather surprised. There were all kinds of shady characters! There was a vampire, wearing about a tenth of the amount of clothes of the average human, a guy wearing an AIM uniform, and a bunch of people discussing a war of some sort. I tacked a bat-tracer on the guy in the AIM suit. I'll have to keep an eye on him. The vampire seemed to be deliverring some sort of a speech. Something about her blog. I decided to deal with the yellow man after a night's sleep.

Me amn't in--

2006-09-17T06:17:00.000-07:00

the Apprentice. Me amn't paired with that useless silver senior citizen who amn't named Elixir. Don't support we!

Exploring the DCU: Part 6

2006-09-08T17:47:00.000-07:00

"Kneel before my feet, Martian! Kneel before the feet of... the Red Rhino!" With these ominous words, my first supervillain in months appeared before me. Of course, I was knocked out on the floor. Somewhat reminescent of Hal Jordan. Naturally my super Martian stamina enabled me to wake up quickly, near the tail end of his speach. "And for said reasons, I have declared genocide upon the legions of mankind, for their so called modern life, has deteriorated into gobs of violence and idiocy! The world will soon be repopulated by I! Repopulated with the help of a select few, and the power of that fool Xavier's Cerebro machine! The aliens' foreign cultures have naturally helped mankind's deterioration, particularly warlike Mars. This is why you die first. Next the saiyan and his friends. The human's puny registration act will do no good! The aliens must die! Die and never return. I will keep a registration act of new aliens coming in, of course! A registration act of the select few aliens who might HELP mankind, unlike you and you-rrgh!" I did that trick the Vision always used to do, with dematerialising my hand and materialising it again back in his body. It obviously hurt him quite a bit.

"Manhunter! You will pay for that with your life! By the time I am done with you, you will wish you were killed when I hit you onto the floor!" yelled the Rhino.
"So, I slept through some of your monologue. Could you say why you hate humanity again?" I said, stalling for time in an attempt to think of a strategy against this villain, who seems to recover quite quickly.
"But of course! Mankind must know of the reason for their death, or history will only repeat itself!" But if he succeeds in his plan, would there be a mankind left to learn from it's errors? He's just sprouting cliches! Oh, yes, back to planning.

Him: My main problem is with the extreme disrespect children today sprout out! They have no respect whatsoever! I mean, really! Have you seen some of the jargon they sprout today? I mean, really, what's a jive turky?!?!?
Me: If I may, interrupt, I should note that the term 'jive turkey' hasn't been used for several years. I think it's considered politically incorrect, currently.
Him: Again with the political correctness of today! Back in my day--
Me: Listen, you're a supervillain; I'm a superhero. We fight. Not have jibberish conversations. If I win, you'll go to jail. If you win, I'll leave Earth forever and leave you to your plans. Deal?
Him: I don't make deals with the enemy!

Having finally conceived a plan, I override the autopilot, jerk the ship sideways, sending the Red Rhino plummetting against the wall, dangerously close to the door. I press a button, opening the door. It's vaccuum begins to pull him out. His space suit's oxygen won't last a few hours. I decide to save him. After all, heroes don't kill. Particularly me.* I close the door as he's being sucked out the door. Oh, great, I think I just heard a snap. As I dragged him in, I undid the space suit, to see if his back was broken. He was alive, barely. I guess that counts as a win.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I begin to send the ship home, when a strange vortex begins to open around the ship. Suddenly, I'm in the past. Let's see if this universe's past is as much as the Red Rhino makes it out to be. I think he's blinded by nostalgia, but we'll see.

*The people who've read the new Martian Manhunter mini-series will find the irony in that statement.

Exploring the DCU: Part 5

2006-09-07T18:00:00.000-07:00

Talking with Mr. Kent confirmed that he was powerless. Fortunately, he allowed me to use the JLA's personal ship. Right before I began lifting off I thought I heard a distant *thud* on the back of my ship... Must be debris from the take off. I set the ship on an autopilot ship to Mars and kick back and sleep...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Several hours later, I wake up. Apparently we've arrived on Mars, and it's quite different than the dead planet of Mars from my earth. It still has cities and--wait, the ships... they're lifting off of the planet! I watch in awe as the platoons of ships evacuate the planet. It begins to shake violently. Clearly I am seeing the end of th--ugh! I feel a strong whack on the back of my head. I stagger and collapse.
"That was no mere debris that hit the back of your vehicle! No, it was I, stowing away with mere seconds to spare before your ship took off! Now, kneel beneath my feet, Martian! Kneel beneath the feet of--the Red Rhino!"

Exploring the DCU: Part 4

2006-09-02T20:25:00.000-07:00

So, I was to set off for Mars... The only question is: how? I don't have the patience to fly all the way there myself, and no one on this earth knows me. I suppose I could be confused with the other J'onn on this earth... The other J'onn! He must be experienced in space travel!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Our conversation goes as follows:

Me:...So, that's it. I'm a robotic spy from another universe, who wants to explore this one while the Monitors try to get me back to the Heroes United Earth.
Him: You know, the multiverse is like a patch of tomatoes. Endless stems branching off of what seems like a simple enough sphere. All endlessly connected.
Me: *Ahem* That's very deep and all, but might you--
Him: Do we merely exist to be eaten. To be broken apart? Stripped the universe's greatest secrets, like a tomato loses seeds? Do the Monitors have the right to destroy our universe thus?
Me: Well, maybe so. I'd like to see the difference that this universe has had, having more meddling by the Monitors, unlike the other one, which has only been observed...
Him: The Monitors... Why did we need a crisis in the first place? Why do we need temperences with our already fragile realities? Shouldn't the Monitors live up to their names? The Watcher known as Uatu once tried to destroy the Heroes United Universe, but decided for the better not to. Why must the Monitors mettle? I beleive that your universe actually has outdone ours in some areas...
Me: Wait, how did you know about the Watcher incident? I only discovered it recently?
Him: Foolish other me... Did you think I would not notice the subtle hints in your way of speach towards it? I know all... Also: Don't try to hold anything from a telepath.
Me: Oh, and about the space ship...
Him: Yes?
Me: Do you have any?
Him: Go ask Superman.
Me: Is your universe's Superman in the Justice League?
Him: Yes, why?
Me: I mean, when my universe's Superman isn't in the Justice League... it tends to lead to disorganised chaos.
Him: You cut out the heart of a tomato, and it will quickly wither away. Thus is the Justice League. Thus are all organisations.
Me: Well, it's been nice talking to you. Is Superman here, or in the Fortress of Solitude.
Him: He is ripe for the plucking. His powers are gone. I would not know where to find him.
Me: But you just told me to ask him where to find a space ship...
Him: Oh, I'm sorry. I was busy reading your mind. Must not have been paying attention.
With that I floated backword through the wall to escape the madness that lay in continuing to talk to him. Hopefully my knowledge of Superman's secret identity, gained by the Earth Prime fragment of the Heroes United Earth...

Exploring the DCU: Part 3

2006-09-02T19:58:00.000-07:00

Well, this has been a hectic time... About a week ago, Black Atom and Isis were to be wed. This, naturally, didn't bode well for me meeting with him. The wedding itself was quite... unique.

There was a talking tiger...

A girl named Mary...

An Elvis-like fellow...

This fellow, who seemed quite mad...

And an obese fellow...

The groom...

And the bride...

After the opening ceremonies, there was a commotion involving an assasination of the quite young ringbearer... This world was just too full of death. I have decided to leave earth and see if homeworld Mars is still around in this universe... More on this to come.

Ace Arrives at JLA Headquarters! Planning an Assault!

2006-08-28T18:29:00.000-07:00

Ace Chapter 10:

"I'm very sorry to interrupt your train of thought, Master Bruce, but we're almost at the Justice League Headquarters..." says Alfred. The different tone of his voice from Bruce's mono-tone ramblings woke me up. We got out of the car. It seems the JLA is using their old cave headquarters currently.

Walking into the cave, I tried to not think of the horrible things that happened last time they used this headquarters. Then again, that was Justice League Detroit. I mean, the new league can't be any less professional than that.

...Oh, was I wrong. The first thing that cought my eye was Flash with the volume up extremely loud (made worse by my superior dog hearing) on the tv watching...some crazy show with a "very melon" dance. This didn't leave much hope for the new Justice League. Flash has always been the joker though... Let's see what the rest were doing...

"SUFFERIN' SAPHO!" I heard. Oh, good! Wonder Woman's here. Maybe she'll be somewhat profe--"They're having a sale at Sears! I hear they've got some good shoes on sale! Nothing else to do without powers!" Oh, don't tell me she doesn't have her powers! Please don't tell me she's wearing that horrid white costume from the sixties.
She was. Green Lantern... well Hal was knocked out on the floor. *Sigh* This team makes the X-Men seem good. Ah well, better them than nothing. Aquaman's always trustworthy... Oh in he comes... He's the sword of Atlantis version! Great! Better them than nothing I guess, but still... This is looking bad.

Escape the Monsters! Assemble the Justice League!

2006-08-25T17:01:00.000-07:00

Ace Chapter 8:

Batman, Robin, Alfred and I get in the Batmobile.
"Alfred! Drive!" commands Batman.
"Yes sir, Master Bruce!" agrees Alfred.
"...So what do you think of that Big O show that airs at 5 a.m. on Cartoon Network?" asks Bruce. "Norman is an obvious rip-off on you; not to mention Dorothy being a Robin-type character. Well, sort of, I mean they're both young wards... if an android can be a ward. I like the mus--ick!"
Bruce's paranoied ramblings are cut short by a thunk on the back of the car. One of those Iron Man looking things, I'm guessing.
"Alfred! Step on the gas!" yells Bruce.
"Right away, sir," agrees Alfred.
"See, Norman's motorcycle would never go that quickly! Anyways, as I was saying, the music is pretty good though... and of course the main character is a rip-off of me! Here's to hoping they don't introduce a-- doggone it, drive faster Alfred! The robot creature is back on the windshield! I'm sure the cops won't mind if we speed a bit! And speaking of cops, that Doston guy is a bad Commissioner Gordon rip--aww, great! Another robot roadstop! Alfred, swerve! Take the backroute!" Bruce rambles. "And as I was saying, that show is just one collossol Batman rip off! It's pretty good quality though. Not like that campy garbage they put out in the sixties of me! I mean, this is a Batman show done right! Superheroes without superpowers! But is that really super-heroes?" Bruce continued to review Big O. Alfred nodded every now and then, but I don't think anyone was really listening to him. "Alfred, are we almost to the Batcave yet?" Robin whined.
"Oh no, Master Tim. We're heading to Justice League headquarters across the country, are we not?" asked Alfred.
"And then of course there's the great film noir style of art! I don't appreciate the changes in the script in season two though. I did like how they dropped the new music they introduced in season two and went back to the season one music though..."
There's obviously no interrupting him... I thought. Maybe I'll take a nap on Robin's lap. After all, this is going to be quite the long drive...

Ace Escapes the Warehouse! Gaia's Minions Attack!

2006-08-22T05:32:00.000-07:00

Ace Chapter 7:

As I walked out of what had become a warehouse via Congorilla's amazing powers, Congorilla mind-warped himself back into his original body, trapping the inferior Khaos clone in the warehouse. As we walked out, there was a chaotic battlefield. Giant creatures that looked like Iron Man were reaking havok across the cars. I told Batman to go home and get the batgear and some allies. We were going to fight these creatures, but we were going to need some help. Namely, THE JUSTICE LEAGUE.*

*Yes, there's a JLA in the Heroes United Universe.

Exploring the DCU: Part 2

2006-08-20T16:12:00.000-07:00

Well, today's been busy, what with Booster Gold being incinerated by a nucleur submarine attatched to a freakish starfish creature, and all. Yes, Booster Gold was incinerated by a nucleur submarine attatched to a freakish starfish creature. It looked very staged... like he was going to come back the next week, just doing this to get people to think of him as if he were a hero after all, despite his low popularity. Metropolis is just too competitive... which is one of the reasons I'm taking a trip to Khandaq for a while. Yes, Khandaq. I hear it's run by a super-hero, which can't be a bad thing. I wonder what this Black Adam is like...

Exploring the DCU: Part 1

2006-08-19T10:17:00.000-07:00

After a long teleportation flight through the o-zone (not that there's much of one on this earth) I arrived in Metropolis. Deciding that I should catch up on this world's events, I transformed into a normal human and bought a newspaper. The headliner was "Going for the Gold: Supernova Outshines Former Hero!" It read "(Metropolis) The Mysterious masked "Supernova" continues to win the hearts and minds of the citizens of Metropolis with his widespred activities as this city's newest superhuman protectore." Interesting. I wonder who this Supernova s. He's commented on my blog... I scanned down the page. There was another article that went:

Tarnished: Booster Approval Ratings Show "NO CONFIDENCE"
(METROPOLIS) One would think he would have seen this coming. After all, if the stories about him are to be believed, he comes from the 25th Century. Yes following the revolation that most of his recent "brave acts of heroism" were actually part of a huge international campaign, the super hero career of the man known as Booster Gold is in freefal, with seemingly no end in sight.
The now disgraced costumed member of the prestigious Justice League, has seen his approval rating drop to an all time low. In a new survey of 5,000 Metropolis citizens conducted by the Daily Planet, Booster Gold's approval rating has dropped to a meager 2 percent-- a drop of 89 points from his all-time high of 91 percent following his rescue of Flight 2824 just three months ago. Even "Bibbo" Bibbowski, current owner of the notorious roughneck Ace O' Clubs bar in Suicide Slum, rates higher as a hero to the city populace, with a 15 percent approval rating.

Wow. To think that the inhabitants of Metropolis prefer mob bosses over superheroes, albeit shady ones. I'll have to see how bad Gotham is on this earth soon.

Obviously the city isn't taking too kindly to Booster Gold, whoever he is... while this Supernova character's popularity is skyrocketing. I wonder why there was no mention of Superman's popularity.

It's decided.

2006-08-19T08:40:00.001-07:00

I'm doing 52. First 52 post is being written as you read this.

For those who don't read 52: 1) You should, and 2) My posts'll be easy enough to understand, even without reading the series.

Still here.

2006-08-18T06:04:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm still here. Just having a creative crisis. The original plan for my current story was to tie-in to my mini-series, like Ralph Dibny, Swamp Thing, and Superman are doing with 52... The only problem is that I don't really think my mini-series represents my character very well. For example, on the last page, I toss some guy off a building... I'm not sure I want to do a sadistic character like that... My next goal was to do 52... but I haven't gotten this week's issue yet, so I might do something that contradicts the issue that just came out. Hopefully I'll decide what I'm going to do soon... I might get stuck in 80's DC, like was originally the point of this blog... Maybe some other time period. Right now, 52 looks hopeful, and it's possible that I'll be one of the captive martians in the latest mini-series... I just don't know. Check back this afternoon for an update.

The Final Explanation! Isolated on a New Earth!

2006-08-09T06:36:00.000-07:00

J'onn Chapter 10:

"Okay, J'onn, are you ready for the rest of the explanation?" asked the Monitor.
"Yes, I suppose I am." I replied.
"Okay, when last we left off, I explained how you were on a fused Earth, even moreso than the one Alex Luthor made. This time, I will explain what will happen next to you. I'm sad to say that the body you've been in since the Infinite Crisis is a mere android... You've been getting messages from Swamp Thing warning you of this, but he was dismissed as insane by most, however you knew there might be something to what he was saying. These feelings escavated when you were flying through the dimension between earth and the Astral Plane. This weakened your mental barrier, allowing for a being like the Shadow King to posess an accomplished telepath like you. As you exitted the Astral Plane, we began to receive signals that you realised you were a mere robotic J'onn. See, in the Heroes United universe, there was never a true J'onn... Merely one in this plane of existance, the DC universe. We figured the Heroes United would figure something was up (being fused with earth prime, where comics are published featuring you) if an iconic character such as you was missing. So we inserted a spy, which prevented them from suspecting anything. Plus, it allowed us to see this if other dimension was stable enough to support itself, or if it needed another crisis, to fix it's continuity errors... It has done well enough, to escape the need for a crisis.
"Unfortunately, we cannot insert organic matter into the Heroes United Universe, merely synthezoids, such as your former body, and telepathic ideas, such as the idea to create a crisis. And thus, you are stuck here, on the DC earth. We will attempt to find a way to return you, but for now, you are stuck on this earth... I reccomend going down to check on the progress of the current Earth denizens. You see, the Earth here is quite different from the one you've seen before." And so, after agreeing with their wishes, I was sent down, via a teleporter, to a new earth... End J'onn Book 1.

Greetings!

2006-08-03T17:20:00.000-07:00

And now for an interlude... I hope you all are liking the pseudo-psychological technobabble I've been tossing out, as it is necessary for the current plotline, but if it gets a little too over-the-top, be sure to let me know. When this story-line with the Monitors is over... I don't know what I'll do. I have some ideas for Ace, but not really any for J'onn. My liking of the Animal Man comic is showing again, but alas, I can't help it. Does anyone else notice how I never actually do anything in this blog that would ifferenciate J'onn from the average hero? If you replaced all the "J'onn"s with, say "Superman" the whole story would flow just as well. I need to somehow characterise J'onn instead of only focusing on the plot. Oh, and first person to tell me what my titles for the recent posts are a parody of gets a round of applause. End Interlude.

The Monitors' Mission! A Trip Between Dimensions!

2006-08-03T16:57:00.000-07:00

J'onn Chapter 9:

My mind began to flow into a new body. Wait! I feel a sensation of Deja Vu! As if I know these people! As if I've been in this body before! It was as if Swamp Thing's talk of him being in an alternate universe might be true.
"Greetings. We, the Monitors, are quite shocked that you have uncovered your true nature. We knew Swamp Thing's meddling in other dimensions would come to no good," stated a Monitor.
"Swamp Thing? I thought it was resolved that he went insane... and that all his talk was delusional?" I questioned.
"Oh no, J'onn, certainly not. That was merely Swamp Thing tiring of your dimension and thinking he had discovered enough, created a mindless clone of himself, did something that would aggrivate your Pantha, that would cause her to inform your "Heroes United" group that he was in a coma, while it was truly just a mindless clone he left behind while excaping.
"You see, Alex Luthor may not have successfully completed the seperation of the earths in our universe, he did in other universes. Much the same as the existance of Spider-Man and co. in another universe is possible. There may be several dimensions in some universes, and there may not, yet there are also divergant universes that feature what may have happened. For example, your most recent universe is a sort of what if the barriers set between the characters in different universes was not existant. Alex Luthor's fusion went far beyond what it was meant to do, and fused all universes, including the now extinct Earth Prime, allowing for what you people call 'out of character' notes, midway through your adventures. You see, I myself am quite shocked that you haven't done many out of character notes, considering your fondness for the Animal Man book."
"Uh... what fondness for what book? I know of Animal Man, but not that he had a book..."
"See, portions of what you type in your "blog", as you call it, are done by you, and other portions by your writer... I know this is a lot to digest, J'onn. Perhaps I should explain the rest tomorrow." Finished the Monitor.
"Yes... perhaps so," said a confused J'onn...

Ace's Return! A Secret Alternate Reality?

2006-07-31T13:57:00.000-07:00

Ace Chapter 6:

Batman opened the fridge. "Out of suplies! Alfred, why didn't you bring rations! And how did we lose half of the food we had yesterday?" asked Batman, suddenly staring at Robin.
"Master Bruce, young Master Drake is a growing boy. Can you blame him for his hunger? Would you rather he starve?"
"*Sigh* I guess not. Ace, any clues on the strange continuity errors we've been recieving recently?" asked Batman.
Ace began to bark. Batman understood. "So, you say that we're in two slightly different realities that began to intersect when Sinister captured you, taking you to a desert island, whereas I arrived in a werehouse? And this also explains how you suddenly lost the ability to talk, and how I can still understand what you're saying in my version of the reality? Well, that does explain quite a bit, Ace,"* states Batman. "But how are we communicating and interacting if we're in different universes."
Ace explains that the universes are only slightly divergant and that when Batman entered the werehouse, the universes began to see and interact with each other.
"Congorilla, can you fix this?" Batman asked the newly created Congorilla/Khaos clone.
The universes began to fuse...

*This is a homage to cheesy silver age explanations, not sloppy writing.

Wolverine's Tirade Continues! An Untimely Death!

2006-07-30T13:31:00.000-07:00

J'onn Chapter 8:

Wolverine staggered back. Healing factor, do your thing! Sure enough a few seconds later he was recovered.
"Scott, have Hank fly the plane while you blast this scumbag!" commanded the feral Canadian, Wolverine.
"You have no riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!" screached Cyclops as he walked in to scold Wolverine.
"Toldja," Wolverine said.
I hate to admit it, but for once, Wolverine's right! thought Cyclops. "What do I do now?" asked the X-Men's not so brave leader.
"What do you think? Blast him with your eyebeams!" barked Wolverine.
Duh! Why didn't I think of that? thought Cyclops as he zapped the creature in my body. It was fried to a crisp.
"Wait, Wolverine, wasn't that J'onn's body?" asked Cyclops.
"Oh great!" moaned Wolverine. "Now we're gonna have to arrange a funeral!"
To be continued...

Something's up with J'onn's Monitor Body! What will the X-Men Discover?

2006-07-29T14:45:00.000-07:00

J'onn chapter 7:

Meanwhile, back on the Blackbird, a strange substance began to trickle up what we once believed to be J'onn's leg... The temporarily inanimate body began to rise... The period of time between the exhalence of J'onn's soul from the Monitor body was so short that the new host was not noticed by the other occupants of the Blackbird...
As Wolverine walked back he asked the creature, "What's up, bub?"
The creature snapped back, "Do not adress me with such a tone, human fool!"
*Snickt* Out came his claws. He stabbed two of them around the creature's neck. "Listen bub, I don't feel like playing games with you. You may be having some sorta ID crisis, but mine's ten times worse, so quit giving me all this moan-and-groan attitude and self-pity, or this time, you won't get out so easy as last time Shadow King posessed you!"
Last time? thought the creature, Then he knows I am not who I seem to be... Fine, I shall attack this frail human, and demonstrate to him how to respect a superior being such as myself.
"Er... that came ooooowwwwwww!" shouted Wolverine as he was stabbed by a knife the creature in the Monitor/J'onn's body had changed it's hand to.
"Last time you may have escaped my wrath, but this time, THE SHADOW KING WILL DESTROY YOU!"

To be continued...

Will J'onn's Identity Crisis be Cleared Up? Maybe!

2006-07-26T06:43:00.000-07:00

J'onn chapter 6:

As we flew home on the Blackbird, the flight caused problems. I wondered if my fellow telepath Xavier was feeling the same torture I was. I was feeling a different sort of mental pain this flight. This time, it was caused by...

The Monitors

"Agent J'onn has realised that he is in an artificial body. Should we return his soul to his correct body and give up monitoring this Heroes United group?" asks one Monitor. body?

"Yes," replied another Monitor, "I suppose we should!" My mind began to leave my current body. I was suddenly with the Monitors. What was my old body doing here?

J'onn Returns! Will Superman Save him?

2006-07-20T13:14:00.000-07:00

J'onn chapter 5:

As I awakened I felt a pulling on my head. Tendrils were inserted into it and I started to float. A being called the Shadow King had decided to possess me to destroy the X-Men. Cyclops, jerk that he is, wanted to blow me up. With Wolverine's help. So I made him pay. I was about to attack, when suddenly some girl with a Southern accent decided to fight me. So I attacked her. After all, Southern accents bother me. Before I could connect, the one named Rogue grabbed my leg. She drained the power. I was myself again, but at what cost?

Meanwhile Superman was on his way here to help. Those signals I'd been sending out must've been working. He arrived to see the Rogue creature which had absorbed my power fusing with Carol Danvers, known to some as Warbird, and also a metalic X-Man named Colossus. So, naturally, thinking that they had captured me, which was more or less true, he began to fight. As he hit Rogue, Warbird flew out of her. About then I woke up to see Rogue choking Warbird. The Shadow King had entered her. I had had just about enough of this chaos! Wolverine was rambling about Hydra and some father or somthing, and Colossus was still fused with Rogue somehow. So I shapeshifted into a fluid-taker and injected myself into Rogue's back while she was choking Carol. I then dumped the Shadow King poison into a random rock, which I blew far away with my Martian breath. The threat of the Shadow King was over... for now.

Ace Continues his Story! J'onn'll be Back Someday...

2006-07-19T16:56:00.000-07:00

Ace Chapter 5:

Well, Congorilla, Batman, Robin and I were in a problem... and not a minor one either. We were on an island we believed was about to explode, trapped in a room with a godlike entity, which was nowhere near as powerfull as he would soon be.

23...22...21

"Yelp, howl, bark!" I commanded Congorilla. He solemnly agreed... He sat down and began to do a meditating like stance... 15...14...13... Hurry up, Congo... 11... Congorilla began to go mad. I saw his spirit floating out of his body... As was the incomplete Khaos clone's. 8...7... The transfer was complete. 5...4... "BARK, YELP!" I howled quickly! Khaos/Congorilla understood and terminated electricity on the island. We were safe... but how will we get out?

Khaos a Fake? Impossible!

2006-07-19T16:48:00.000-07:00

Ace Chapter 4:

In waddled a crazed primate! Congorilla was clearly not happy to be here. He grunted and snorted and altogether bothered me.
"Bark woof yelp howl!" I commanded him. He raised his hand to his head in a salute. He is military. * We animals have a way of understanding each other. So Congorilla began to pound on Khaos.
"Bah! Foolish animal! This is not the true Khaos! This is mearly a much weaker simulation! Soon the real Khaos will be here, and he will be much stronger. Until then..." Sinister pressed a button, and he fell through a door beneath him. A countdown began on a large screen which descended from the ceiling. 60... 59... 58... This can't be good...

*Note: I am making this up as I go along. I know almost notthing of Congorilla, except that he can switch bodies with Congo Bill, which I elaborated on making him able to switch bodies with anyone, and that he teamed up with Jimmy Olsen once. I've only read one actual Congorilla comic, and only two stories where he appears. And I'm almost positive he had nothing to do with the millitary. Sorry that it's inaccurate, Congorillaphiles.

Ace Conforonts Khaos! Who is he Anyways?

2006-07-18T13:01:00.000-07:00

Ace Chapter 3:

"No... I've heard rumors of you... but I never thought you were real! It's really Khaos!" I tried to say. It came out "Woof bark yelp howl!"
"Ah, but he is real. Soon, not only will the Watchers be gone, but so will all non-Marvelous creatures. Then Khaos will destroy the Marvelous ones in one fell swoop. Genious, no?" raved Sinister.
Just then Batman broke in!
"Robin, toss a Robinrang* at him! Alfred, you can tell Congorilla to come in now!" Batman yelled at Alfred through a walky-talky and Robin in person. Oh, and did I mention that Congorilla and I are old friends? He can switch bodies with anyone at will**, so I figure he could swap with Khaos to prevent Khaos from destroying us all.
"What's taking that 'Gorilla?" whined Batman. Will he arrive in time? To be continued...

*A parody of the Batarang.
**in this universe

Stop Man-Faye!

2006-07-18T12:50:00.000-07:00

Now, a break from our usually scheduled posting to bring you a daring new website. I bring you... STOP MAN-FAYE! Just pm me in the Heroes United forum (join already, you slackers) and I'll give you my email so that you can join the blog in an attempt to stop this monster from ruining the reputation of anime fans worldwide. I appeal to you readers, stop Man-Faye.

Ace Faces Peril! Is he also a Synthezoid?

2006-07-14T19:01:00.000-07:00

Ace Chapter 2:

When I finally woke up, I was on a table.
"Analysation, complete." spoke a robotic voice.
"Greetings, Ace, pet of Batman!" said a mysterious pale faced man.
"Bark! Woof! Howl! Yelp!" I spoke clearly. In English that would be "Who are you and what do you want?" What? Alfred practically raised me on cheesy movies.
"I am Mr. Sinister. You shall soon know the true meaning of terror, as you gaze upon..." he lifts the curtain off a machine, "KHAOS!" The machine began to vibrate. The Stryfe being cackled menacingly in the backround. A creature beyond discription came from the machine. "N-no... It... it can't be... not... you!"

Meanwhile Batman had arrived, using the tracking device.
"Alfred, you stay in the car. Robin, we're going in!"

Special 100th Post Edition! Will J'onn Survive the Astral Plane?

2006-07-14T04:45:00.000-07:00

J'onn Chapter 4

Well, after Cyclops finally decided which X-Men to take with him (and it took several days) we took off in the Blackbird into the astral plane. As we were warping through the dimensions I began to get strange visions. A creature made of grass's silloute floated above me. It began to overload my mind.

I fell to the floor with my hands on my head mental images were abound and it began overloading with strange and doubtful statements.

"Programming is keeping blog run... cheat on the part of Heroes (?) United... two Universal Timelines... oreo-addict... just got out of rehab on Oa with no memory of creating the Life and Times of the Martian Manhunter... letting Synth-J'onn take over for him as a member of Heroes United... Synth-J'onn... Synth-J'onn... Synth-J'onn...!"

I began to yell these statements as I was rolling in pain on the floor. Cyclops heard my tormented yelling. "Hey what's going on back there? It takes some serious talent and concentration to drive this plane, so I can't bother to check up on you." he rudely said.

The torment continued...

"Infinite Crisis... realism... grim problems... confined to one universe... Ace faces pet abuse... has fleas..." My mind couldn't take much more of this insanity. I began to howl in pain.

"It can't be that bad, J'onn! Warbird, go check on him!" Cyclops barked.

"He's stopped breathing, Scott." Carol reported.

"Did he breath in the first place?"

"Do I look like an expert on Martian physiology to you?"

"Well... no."

"Then don't ask!"

As we pulled into the Astral Zone, Carol and Scott continued bickering. As I gradually woke up, enlightened of myself being a false J'onn, I realised that this was going to be one difficult mission...

Semi-J'onn Chapter! Will He Ever Return to His Own Blog?

2006-07-13T19:39:00.000-07:00

J'onn Chapter 3:

Meanwhile, in the Batcave...

Batman began to worry for Ace.
"Alfred, we haven't seen Ace in days... I've always suspected the Martian. Should we really have an alien in our midst? Particularly taking care of our do?"
"Master Bruce, are you sure you need worry? Ace could be on a case with Krypto or..."
"Or nothing, Alfred. I suspect something. To the Batmobile." As Bruce dons his cape and cowl the sixties Batman TV show theme plays... He drives off into a lot nearby the hero of this blog's house...
"J'onn, open up!" Batman yells as he pounds the door. "
"No answer." He mumbles... "Luckily J'onn left me with a key to his house..."
Bruce entered. There was a note saying "Gone to Astral Plane. Be back in an hour." Must be visiting his alien relatives, thought Bruce. Little did he realise, something much worse was going to happen to J'onn. To be continued.

Ace Begins a New Story-line! Paleface Man Attacks.

2006-07-11T17:31:00.000-07:00

Ace Chapter One:

I was sleeping silently when J'onn slammed the table for no real reason. I ran out the door and saw a living computer. Interesting... very interesting... Anyway, she's J'onn's problem/help. So I kept running to my doghouse and met up with a creature which looked like a mix between several mutants. It grabbed me by the collar! Again, I yelped. He did not listen. "I will eliminate all creatures not of the Marvel Universe," he said. Marvel? What is he talking about? Does he mean all non-marvelous creatures will be eliminated? As in boring? Or does he know something I don't about the layout of the Universe? I attempted to ask him what was going on. "Woof, bark, yelp, bark, bark!" I howled. No responce. I'd better call Batman on my-- *SMASH* The signal device broke. Now what, I wondered. No Batman-- J'onn! I turned my head to see a car with him inside driving off. No idea what to do... Then the blood began to flow from the wound I recieved when the mutant pounded me. I'll accept help from anyone! Even... Swamp Thing! He's been raving about reality a lot recently. Could he be behind this? No, he may be a little kooky, but he's still a hero. They don't let just anyone join Heroes United. Err... wait, isn't Captain Koma in there? And the Local Henchman? And Magneto? And Lindsay Lohan? I'd hate to see a meeting of them... Then I collapsed from blood loss. To be continued...

The Identity of the Mysterious Visitor! An Astral Threat!

2006-07-11T11:35:00.000-07:00

J'onn Chapter 2

"Greetings," said the mysterious visitor. "I am Sage. Do you wish to be escorted to the party of Cyclops?"
What party? Shouldn't this guy have told me that while I was staying at his mansion? What an improfessional leader. "Uh... sure," I said after my short inner monologue.

As Sage was driving to the mansion I began having strange headaches. A voice began to speak to me. "J'onn! J'onn J'onzz! I am in the astral plane. Alert Sage of this and tell her I am in dire need of the X-men's help," the voice began to say." I recognize that voice... It was Professor Xaviar. "Will do, Professor," I mentally said to him.
"Sage, speed up. The good professor needs rescuing and the X-men are just the ones to do it."

As I rode I thought about how it was too bad I missed out on the party. Maybe I should do a little partying before I tell 'em. Naah, that's too malicious for my 4% evil... To be continued... after the first Ace installment.

New Story Begins! Hop on Now or Forever be Lost!

2006-07-10T09:22:00.000-07:00

Okay, I decided to start a new storyline here. Well, three actually. I've only decided on two so far though... Okay, so J'onn will be traveling across the country on a search for Captain Koma. Ace will be fighting Mr. Sinister, and Bizarro J'onn will be providing filler, until he gets something better to do. Sound good?

Okay, here we go.

J'onn Section: Chapter One: The Search Begins.

I slammed my fist on the table in anger. Ace woke up, yelped at me and ran out the door. I sighed. I had to go after Koma. But would it do any good? Magneto's out of prison and Henchman has gone on an arson streak so if I leave the house alone it could be burnt down... nah, Ace and Bizarro J'onn will protect the house. How did I get Bizarro J'onn to be my friend anyways? It just... happened. Anyways the forces of evil are still strong. I'll need friends... Powerfull friends. I wonder if the JLA still hate me because I disbanded them... Oh, what about that loose knit band of losers, the Obscure Justice League! Will they work? No, there's a reason they were forgotten... How about my original Justice League pals? We could get Hal and O-- *Knock Knock*
"I'll get it!" I said. It's not like Ace or Bizarro was going to get it...
"Hello, J'onn," said the visitor. Who was he? Find out soon.

J'onn again.

2006-07-09T16:45:00.000-07:00

Here's a scene from Action # 594:

Booster Gold's Speech: Ladies and gentlemen of the press... Thank you for coming. We have a matter of grave importance to discuss. The problem... George Bush... and his crimes against humanity! Several weeks ago George Bush took it upon himself to ignore the laws of this country by invading a foreign land... Iraq. True, Iraq was exporting terrorism, but does George Bushhave the right to jeapordize this country by waging war on another nation. Does this man dare imagine himself a god? George Bush must answer for his crime. You must demand an explanation of his betrayal! No president can be allowed to behave that way!

If you have a copy, dig it out. Notice any differences? Yeah, I changed all refferences to Superman to George Bush, Quaraq to Iraq, and Superhero to president. It fits though, doesn't it?

Ace here!

2006-07-09T14:23:00.000-07:00

J'onn got tired of posting, so Ace is taking over! Look forward to Dog Versus Cable Clone (that's the promised Pale Face Man crossover) soon. Maybe next post. Maybe after filler. Am I the only one who notices that this blog is about 95% filler, and next to no story? Oh well... The fans like it. Or at least they don't leave the blog...

Letdown Hulk Profile.

2006-07-08T08:42:00.000-07:00

Here is Hulk's pathetic profile...

I was expecting witty answers to questions and a funny autobiography. Oh well...

Hey, look! Thor!

2006-07-08T07:06:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Koma for this blogthing...

2006-07-08T06:56:00.000-07:00

You Are Peter Brady

You're cute, energetic, and a loyal friend to many.
And while you may not have super model hair, you hold your own in grooviness.

What Brady Are You?

Breaking News! Martian Needs Help!

2006-07-07T10:23:00.000-07:00

Okay, for the first time in about a year, I attempted to play a video game. .Hack//INFECTION to be exact. I can't seem to get through the second dungeon... Anyone else have problems with this game? I took a few days off after I kept losing in the first dungeon, then won when I started back up. Should I do that again? My skills increase with nonusage instead of rust... How odd!

P.S. Trip to Japan has been delayed.

New Links!

2006-07-07T10:20:00.000-07:00

As I'm sure you've noticed there are new links on the sidebar. I only had time for a few today, but more will come soon.

P.S. Most of the guys on the sidebar are in Heroes United, so you already know them. Except for Pale Faced Man. Please sp--er, link your site-- on my comments Pale Faced Man. I'm actually glad you did that on --Henchman's site, was it?

Swamp Thing Said...

2006-07-06T06:54:00.000-07:00

in my post asking if he had left the blogosphere,

"You didn't scare me away, Synth-J'onn. Not at all. I left. Your programming is keeping your blog running the way we expected, now that we've moved you out of our universe and offically into the blogiverse with Captain Koma where you belong. Power Girl was pissed about this particular cheat on the part of Heroes(?)United, but I guess that's she gets for headbutting your friend Koma. This has all been rather amusing to say the least.
Mission completed. "

Um... So I am a robot made by Swamp Thing? I guess what he means by "blogiverse" is that I'll be doing tons of crossovers and not respecting people who don't do them the way I want? And that I no longer have a real life? That's what I'm getting out of it. True, the recent style of blogging has cut into my "everything else hours", but that's the danger of having a computer...

Happy fun profile time!

2006-07-04T18:21:00.000-07:00

In an attempt to find the Hulk's profile I entered random numbers and found some pathetic profiles! Check out these one or zero hit profiles attached to one or zero post blogs! 1,2,3,4,5,6 the first blogger!!!

Be sure to check out my worthless comments on some of them.

Who was that green man, anyway?

2006-07-03T08:41:00.000-07:00

Has anyone ever seen the Hulk's profile? I haven't and have been trying to for a few days now...

Awakening*

2006-07-01T04:47:00.000-07:00

I wake up in Xaviar's screaming about Vibe and Phoenix and Cyclops. Next to me I see Swamp Thing. He's still asleep. I hope he doesn't get as bad as what I just experienced...
"So, did we beat Magneto?" I ask, after halucinating in a coma for hours...
"If you'd concider this a victory..." says the Angel as he begins his story...

To be continued...

*Did I spell that right? You know, you people are like my dictionary these days... (Thanks for correcting me Cyclops. I knew something was up with "Awekening".)

Satirical Vibe Appearance!

2006-06-30T08:06:00.000-07:00

I woke up in the X-Men's plane... I did that stereotypical scene where you jolt up out of bed and ask what's going on and where I was. As I was being frozenby Iceman in attempt to reduce burns, he explained that I was burned by Pyro and the X-Men had found and rescued me.

Suddenly the plane caught on fire.

"Jene!" I heard Cyclops yell.

Then suddenly Vibe flew down from the sky!

"Hola, meng! What chu doing?" He street talked.

"Um... Isn't Vibe dead?" Iceman asked.

"Meng, teh Vibe will nevah die! He's a legacy that just ain't gonna stop!" Vibe said.

"Vibe, defeat Pheonix!" I ordered.

"Vibe ain't no alien's play toy!" Rambled Vibe. "Vibe will do whatever Vibe wants."

"Vibe, I lead Justice League Detroit! I will order you around as I please!" I yelled.

"Meng, I'll kill Scottsdale--"

"Phoenix!"

"Whateva, meng!"

And the fight began. Vibe vibrated her until blood began to trickle down her face! She descended to the ground, dead!

"Victory!" Chanted Vibe.

"No, Vibe, you were only supposed to subdue her."

"What the !#@$ ever, meng!"

"Jean! No! Jean! No. No. No." moans Cyclops as he breaks down on the floor.

How is Vibe alive? What was I thinking when I wrote this? Will anyone ever referrence to this post? Will Cyclops have a mental breakdown? Find out on the Heroes United set of blogs! Particularly Mr. Fixit's, Professor X's, Magneto's, Koma's, Wolverine's, Pantha's and Tx's.

Yet more crossovers!

2006-06-26T17:07:00.000-07:00

Here, here, here, here, and here. I think I'll let you people finish this for me. I'm having a hard time keeping up, let alone participating. When this is over I shall compile "The Master's Adition" featuring all posts from all participating blogs.

Another Crossover Continuation.

2006-06-25T07:54:00.000-07:00

Available here. Swamp Thing is due to finish the story. Oh and Captain Koma posted another part too.

Koma Assualt Part 3.

2006-06-24T11:29:00.000-07:00

Continued from here, the last paragraph of here, and here. Also, there is some behind the scenes coverage of Koma's conversation with Magneto here. Whoa! This is some crazy connection. Looks like this is the next big heroes blogosphere story. And all this response in under a day!

Outisde...

2006-06-23T09:42:00.000-07:00

I hear a voice yelling over Koma's...
"Open up, ya poozers!" Yells the voice.
"Kilowog? Then Swamp Thing assembled his Strike Force!" I said as I opened the door. There were Zatanna, Power Girl, Kilowog, the Bulletteer, Frankestien's Monster and Frankenstien's Bride!
The STSF was here to help, but were they enough? Find out later...

Visiting Koma.

2006-06-23T09:26:00.000-07:00

I decided to check on the menace that is Captain Koma today. He didn't answer the door. So I changed into a key and opened up the door. Inside I found Koma and his fake Lohanbot.

"Komy, we have company!" whined Lindsy "fake" Lohan. I hated her already.
"Coming!" Yelled Koma. "Let me finish scheming with Magneto!"
"Okay, but he's green, and doesn't look bery paaaaaaaaaa--" Screamed the Lohanbot as I ripped her battery out.
"What? The Manhunter?" Koma dashed into the room to his disfunctional robot.
"Manhunter, you will pay!" He yelled.

To be continued...

Please Leave, Lee!

2006-06-20T06:53:00.000-07:00

I am sick 'n' tired of your annoying posts. Your spam is not appreciated. You should not tell me to get a life. It is you who is the one who needs a life. All you do is sit at your computer and spam us. So leave. Because we all hate you.

New record!

2006-06-19T12:53:00.000-07:00

I subtracted hentai from One Piece (I'm trying to find it subbed. I didn't realize until today that they CUT OUT A THIRD OF THE SERIES! At least I'll probably see it uncut when I'm in Japan this July or August!) and lost ALMOST A THIRD! That's almost as much as 4K!ds cut from the series! Anyway, if anyone finds an online fansub site (Toonzone won't let me talk about fansubs...) let me know!

Space Ghost: Link to Link

2006-06-16T07:09:00.000-07:00

First off: The Japanese intro to Space Ghost. Say what? I thought Space Ghost was American? Since when does Japan translate our shows? (Thank you, Novy for Pointing Out that Japan does translate our stuff, and it doesn't do very well.)

Second: A Fanmade episode of Space Ghost, Parts One and Two. Mine was better! I didn't try to immitate the voices and fall flat on my face, because mine was a transcript! (For you people who haven't been reading my blog since the start, do the blog search thingamajig [is that how you spell it?] on Space Ghost to find my transcript.)

Poll.

2006-06-15T09:32:00.000-07:00

ME AM BACK AND READY FOR ACTION

2006-06-15T07:18:00.000-07:00

GOODBYE PEOPLE! ME FORGET YOUR USERNAME! IT WERE BIZARRO_JONN! YOU AMN'T GONNA REMIND ME WHEN ME WANT YOU TWO-HUNDRED AM ME! AND YOU! ME MAKE SO MUCH CENTS IT AM FUNNY! AMN'T IT NOT? IT AM? BAD! HELLO FOR NOW!

Sorry!

2006-06-13T08:41:00.000-07:00

Bizarro J'onn was Swingin' with Bemzarro (from Dial B for Blog) and his account name and password fell out! So he can't post any more... See you later.

It's really sad when...

2006-06-09T15:42:00.000-07:00

you subtract hentai from your search for something on Google and LOSE 12 THOUSAND PAGES!

DC is for the Weak.

2006-06-08T08:09:00.000-07:00

Has anyone else noticed that almost all Silver Age DC Heroes have an achilles heel? Supes (I'm sorry John Byrne. I know how much you hate nicknames being tacked on your characters.) has Kryptonite. Green Lantern Hal Jordan has yellow. (So do the rest for that matter... except for Alan "Not really a Green Lantern but I call myself one anyway" Scott.) Aquaman has water. I have fire. (Why did I never just turn into, say, the weaknessless Flash, and not be menaced by it? Don't ask me...) Bizarros have blue krytonite (thanks for the picture, Corbiscide.), and probably more I can't remember.

Marvel on the other hand has zero weaknesses for most of their characters. Their people are supposedly only weakened by their uncanny need to go on a date whenever there is trouble (then again, the same thing happens to DC people.) Well, I'll see you either later today, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. Bizarro returns Monday, for more Bizarro week.

Goodbye!

2006-06-05T20:02:00.000-07:00

This am the end of Bizarro week. Me am not sorry it were so short! Am you happy! Me am! Amn't this crazy? I didn't watch the Bizarro episode of Sealab 2021 tomorrow, and it were very good done and traypored the Bizarros very well. Until yesterday, Bizarro J'onn.

P.S. Me go eat fire now!

Hey.

2006-06-01T05:52:00.000-07:00

I'm back. I simply went on vacation to Mars. (I met up H'ronmeer there and he encased me. It turned out H'rnonmeer wasn't H'ronmeer and H'ronmeer was actually Captain Koma. I broke through his case and escaped.) I spilled some chalk on the floor before I left, and the Bizarro e-mail was just some sort of charity event (Ace closed it before he got to, "Some mentally ill children across America speak like this. Give them money for a proper education and they won't. So pay up.") But the Bizarros are still going to blog here next week. Adios.

Update: Bizarro Week Begins Next Week.

2006-06-01T05:32:00.000-07:00

Don't expect him to actually start writing entries 'til then.

2006-05-31T06:38:00.000-07:00

Greetings!

2006-05-30T16:21:00.000-07:00

I'm going to be making a Bizarro J'onn character soon, and if any of you are interested in drawing one and posting it on your blog (and alerting me of this action via comments) you will get the honor of seeing it as my avatar, when BJ is made. And (if you want [not you Koma]) you can also join this blog as Sandman (what did Koma do to Sandman? Or do the Bizarros only have Sandman?) or another Obscure Justice League member.

Few will enter, one will win. And participation is optional. I'm not going to send Batman after you if you don't enter or anything.

P.S. Xaviar, what did you think about X-Men 3? I was happy about the scene after the credits. Heh, everyone else left, because they didn't read the description of the movie, which alerted me about the extra scene. I wasn't exactly thrilled with the excess of violence, or the fact that Wolverine got most of the dialogue but Kitty (Ohmigod! and Dickhead! What lines. *rolls eyes*), Magneto (he got quite a few), and Storm (some swearing). But Batman wouldn't let me eat any popcorn. *Whimper* Maybe Alfred'll cook me some. Hm... Bizarro Alfred. Wonder what that'd be like...

Bizarro World.

2006-05-30T05:00:00.000-07:00

Well, I used the key to J'onn's house he gave me to get in, then discovered a chalky substance lining the floor. The chalk supports my Bizarro theory. (Koma confessed, he doesn't have him.) When I got home from J'onn's house I found an e-mail, saying "Unless you accepted 23.53 of out dollars yesterday, we am letting J'onn go. We am dropping him in a volcano right now. Because all Martians LOVE fire! And we am taking over yore blogg!" from them. Let's hope J'onn'll fly out of the volcano.

Previous post fixed.

2006-05-28T19:40:00.000-07:00

Everything is all better now, that it is. (Kenshin speech pattern to annoy Captain Koma.)

What the--?!?

2006-05-28T09:24:00.000-07:00

I modify the template to make it look more personalized while J'onn's away and then suddenly... I get the Absorbascon's late great template. How? I picked a totally different template! WEIRD!

A New Saga Begins!

2006-05-26T13:19:00.000-07:00

Okay, so Captain Koma captured the Martian Manhunter and Sandman, and now the remainder of the Obscure Justice League have to rescue them. Can we do it? Find out by following both this blog and Captain Koma's.

P.S. In the tradition of the Martian Manhunter I leave you with a random link to some banned idiot at Toonzone's post record.

New Polls!

2006-05-24T17:05:00.000-07:00

Are you reading mainstream Marvel or DC? I ask because, just trying to get into mainstream DC via 52, Shadowpact, and JSA I am confused about a few things: A) When did Power Girl become the shameless, conciousless, nudity-endorsing, profane creature she is today? I felt traces of this in her '88 mini series but not to the extent of today's Power Girl. B) Who the heck are "Natasha", yet another profane female without a good-influence in her, and Renee Montoya, don't get me started on her. C) Who's Steel? D) When did Lex Luthor become president?

I toss in Marvel for Professor X and Deadpool. Maybe others who have commented whose names I don't remember.

All you need to know about Martians.

2006-05-21T18:08:00.000-07:00

Jeez. This guy knows more about Mars than I do!

Oh Great!

2006-05-21T18:00:00.000-07:00

Some jerk who wants to kill me and my team of Obscurians. Well, at least I'm inspiring people into blogging. Maybe I'll get a No-Blog for service beyond the call of duty.

P.S. Mr. Villain, you shouldn't have mentioned your hate of Dragon Ball Z. Now I'll mention it frequently to annoy my arch-enemy! MWAHAHAHAHA! Revenge shall be mine. Hey get that lighter awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..

Most Boring Blog in the World

2006-05-21T08:12:00.000-07:00

Don't you agree?

Tooth the fanfiction.

2006-05-21T05:08:00.000-07:00

I'm sure you've all read Tooth the fan fiction of Absorbascon fame. I wrote it and it is available at fanfiction.net under DC superheroes. It hasn't been updated for a few months so you may have to go back a few pages.

The iChair

2006-05-21T05:07:00.000-07:00

Um.... What an odd April Fool's Day Joke!

Speaking of Looking Back...

2006-05-18T16:56:00.000-07:00

I remember this great fan fiction about Dragon Ball Z where Vegeta gets a concussion and flees to Mexico, Bulma steals a fire truck, Yajerobe rides a goat and gets arrested for animal abuse, Mr. Pop creates a giant moth that pokes his eye out, Android Seventeen steals a little girl's bicycle and rides into the sunset, Piccolo gets a rash, puts honey on it, attracts bees which are fried off by Gohan, also killing Piccolo, and a whole lot of other craziness happens. I really wanted to read that story again but can't find it on google. Anyone read it copy it and paste it on their website? Probably not.

Lookback factor.

2006-05-18T16:18:00.000-07:00

Anyone else experienced this? It's where you look at the first issue, episode, post, or whatever and compare it to the current issue, chapter, post, episode or whatever and see if they're recognizable. If so are the characters similar? Are they acting differently? Sometimes modern comic writers change the supporting cast or status quo just for the sake of enlarging the differences. Just wondering.

Choking on Sniffs.

2006-05-18T16:12:00.000-07:00

When did the sound effect *Choke* change to *Sniff*? I was reading a modern comic and they said *sniff* instead of *Choke*. *Choke* they're tossing away my memories! *CHOKE* CHOKE* *CHOKE*

X-42.

2006-05-18T14:30:00.000-07:00

Profesor X is only at 42? My most frequent Marvel mutant commenter deserves better.

Great H'ronmeer!

2006-05-14T05:24:00.000-07:00

I occasionally look into the future in DC's comic books and well, I can't believe Clark married Lois! That and my relationship with Fire. But that's for the next post.

JLO Blog Dumped.

2006-05-13T12:51:00.000-07:00

Their blog will no longer exist from now on. The group's still around but the blog is gone. They will make occasional posts here.

Best Blogs I Can't Read!

2006-05-12T16:43:00.000-07:00

The best blogs I don't know how to read are in arabic or something and in Chewbaccan. Just thought you should know. (No there wasn't a point to that entry.)

Choke alert!

2006-05-11T19:18:00.000-07:00

Wait the Legion had lockers? I thought they got rooms? Lockers in rooms? What a disfunctional clubhouse! No wonder they gave it to the Subs and moved out!

Future Proty

2006-05-11T19:13:00.000-07:00

"Future Status:

Proty II is a member of the Adult Legion of Super-Heroes and has since been adopted by Saturn Woman (SM 165) after a falling out with the overaggressive Chameleon Boy back in 2967 (AD 364)."

Wait, when did this happen? I haven't read any stories past the Adult Legion stories and before Legion of Super Heroes #269. The last I heard he became a photographer and was standing up for Protian rights. Anyone read the issue this happened in? Or was it another one of those Adult Legion false information bits?

Super-Pet Abuse!

2006-05-09T18:11:00.000-07:00

Yes you can't escape sadness and pet abuse in comics. Or sexism. Or discrimination against fat people. All of these can be found in Legion comics. For example in the Adventure Comics issue with the Monster Master (or something like that) the Legion says that Bouncing Boy has to stay behind because Saturn Girl is female and will need protection. As they fly away Braniac Five says, "He's jolly and we like him, but his super bouncing power wouldn't do much in this situation." And the Super-Pets! The poor Super-Pets! There have been statements towards them such as, "The Super Pets want to go, but we can't be bothered with them," and "Quit it and changer back to normal Proty! That's an order!" And don't forget about the time Command Kid used smashing Proty I's memorial as a test for membership. And the time Chamelion Boy berated Proty I for playing with the superpets by becoming a diamond. It's no wonder the Protians stood up for their rights in the 2980's, and the Super Pets revolted in a later issue of Adventure Comics! I'm not even going into those two.

The Essence of Choke

2006-05-08T05:20:00.000-07:00

Does the sound effect choke do anything for anyone. They use it all the time in Superman comics from the sixties and, not to be insinsitive or anything, but it seems kind of ridiculous that they have to create a soundeffect for sadness. You're supposed to read comics for intertainment which means being happy, not sad. I know many Americans have this crazy urge to make others miserable and stuff, but do we really need to reflect that in comics? *Choke* I just had to do that post. And why does *choke*, symbolize sadness? It's just some person (usually Lois) choking. I don't think the average person goes, *sob* *sob* AH MY THROAT! *CHOKE*. (Well, teenaged aggies might choke on that gum they're always chewing but...) Choke is meaningless in all ways and we'd be better off without it. That was really lame.

In other news the battle against surrealism continues at the absorbascon (link in sidebar).

Strike!

2006-05-05T17:39:00.000-07:00

I'm going on strike until I get volunteers for the obscure Justice League. All the member choices, except for Ace the Bathound are available. I've created a Sandman account and all others must be created for yourselves. See you when I get volunteers. Until then, no more posts!